We are First Time Homebuyers – Part III – The Move-In

Author’s note – this will be Part III, the last and final post of the homebuying trilogy.  Part I can be found here, and Part II here.  It was a long slog, but I think I’ve finally got it out of my system.  Work’s been brutal lately, my mind is sludge.  I’m way behind on my blog reading, but you still gotta produce, right?  

Don’t worry dear reader, new adventures and distant horizons still await us. 

Enjoy. 

And I’ll see you again at the end… 

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You would have thought the moving-in process would have taught me some grand life lesson about homeownership itself.  When in fact, my greatest takeaway gleamed, had nothing to do with home ownership at all, and was a no-brainer so obvious even a small child could have recognized it for what it was. 

Here it is:  There’s no such thing as leaving corporations behind. 

I had been operating the past several years of my life under an on-again, off-again myth.  Lulled to sleep by my own arrogance and the fallible human dilemma of believing my dust-mite-speck-of-existence on this spinning, spinning planet just might be able to dictate my own terms of existence with the powers that be. 

What myth you ask? 

The myth that we have all succumbed to time and time again.  It’s the crux at the struggle of human happiness itself. 

If I just do “X”, then I will be happy.  If I can only achieve “situation X” then my life will be better.  If I can only eliminate this job, everything else will take care of itself. 

So why is this a myth?  Why can’t those things be true? 

Because there is no bargaining with reality. 

Although we love to cloak ourselves in the illusion of control, “But I can take action!” we proclaim.  The naked truth is every single thing we ever do is a response to something else. 

Do you remember when you took your first breath and opened your eyes outside of the womb?  Do you remember when your first heartbeat began as a mush of cells and organic material? 

These were not beginnings. 

These were responses to other variables at play. 

But fuck, did I digress again.  I’m already way ahead of myself.  Leaving corporations behind was the topic. 

So let me get back to the move-in and I’ll tie this together in the end.  Or maybe I won’t, and none of it will make sense to anyone but me.  Hahaha.  Maybe next time I’ll bring a shovel with me before I start writing so that I can fill in all these rabbit holes first, and stop tripping over them. 

— 

The move itself was neither great nor terrible. 

I’ve mentioned before in previous posts that we didn’t hire movers and did the move ourselves.  In retrospect, this was probably a mistake.  We came out of it successful, don’t get me wrong, but my almost 40-year-old body is not as young as my still 30-year-old mind thinks it is. 

However, our situation was also not as clear cut as some might think. 

Prior to the big move, we had accomplished a possessions purge a year prior, so we were all slimmed down and ready to go.  However, while half of our belongings are the normal indoor things people have, the second half is solely on me. 

Being a renter for so long, and also pricked by the green needle (gardening), I had a succulent plant addiction that had grown out of control.  We’re talking huge ten-year-old agaves – leaves as sharp and long as bastard swords – and aloes – swirling fronds like a giant squid’s tentacles – draping from behemoth pots, as well as other rare, unique and delicate plants that I had accumulated hoardingly over the years. 

When it comes to indoor space, the wife and I are sleek, practical and minimalist within reason.   

However, when it comes to plants and the outside, I have a hard time letting go.  Hahaha.  There’s just something about caring for another life form that makes you feel responsible. 

Anyway, the main point of this long-winded answer is, moving all of these plants would have required a custom job.  Most likely, very expensive and I had real concern it could have been done right without damaging my plant collection. 

So, we did it on our own. 

It was much more tiring than I had imagined – no surprise there, humans underestimating things – but we got it done and survived. 

Our first real surprise came right after closing. 

We were scheduled to close on a Monday, but then got word we would most likely be able to get the keys the Friday before.  So all excited and chomping at the bit for an early move, we were packed up and ready to go that night as soon as we got the official okay from escrow and our realtor. 

However, after driving to the house and unpacking our truck, I go to turn on the faucet and there’s not a single drip.  After freaking out and checking all the pipes, making sure nothing had burst, it looked like the previous owner had simply turned off the water. 

No disaster, but extremely fucking annoying and inconvenient.  It was Friday night, and the city utilities wouldn’t open until Monday morning. 

Everyone I’ve talked to says this is a bizarre one.  Most previous homeowners leave all utilities on for a grace period for the new owners as a courtesy.  Whatever, I guess our previous homeowner was a dick, which pisses me off even more that I paid them a handsome price for the house.   But at least the electricity was still on. 

Also, having no water is just one of those things you take for granted, and you don’t really realize how much you use it until you don’t have it.  Hahaha. 

Anyway, we bought a bunch of bottled water, made bathroom runs when unavoidable at local stores and made it work.  Then of course our city website isn’t updated for COVID, so we show up Monday morning to turn on the water, but the offices are closed, and long story short, it takes another day to get the water on. 

Small pennies in the long-term game. 

Surprise #1 thwarted! 

So, we moved in and were just settling down after the first week when surprise #2 decided to rear its ugly head. 

It was Saturday night; we had my family over for dinner for our first hosting event and the kitchen sink clogs.  (Ten years in my old rental without a garbage disposal and the sink never clogged once.  Less than seven days into the new house, and we already had our first.) 

Hahahaha.  Yeah, sometimes you can’t make this shit up. 

We brushed it off and made the best of the night with our disappointment. 

On Sunday, I’m on a mission to solve this problem on my own.  I’m a new homeowner, and I’m going to fix this shit if it’s the last thing I do.  However, after watching too many YouTube videos and taking off all the pipes underneath the sink myself, it was apparent the clog was somewhere farther down the main line. 

Oh well, no easy fix here. 

While I’m researching plumbers to call, my brother-in-law asks me I have a home warranty which I did.  There I go, being a first-time homeowner and not even realizing that they should be my first call.  But I was thankful for the advice and made the call. 

Here is where corporations come back into play. 

Talking to my home warranty company and filing the claim was a breeze on Monday morning.  This isn’t so bad after all, I’m thinking. 

However, the plumbing company that is supposed to call me never calls.  So, I call them later in the morning and they tell me the earliest they can get to my service order is Wednesday.  Okay, I wasn’t happy about waiting two days, but going through the home warranty will be much cheaper than doing this on my own. 

The plumber comes out Wednesday, doesn’t even look at the clogged line (lazy and incompetent fuck I’d later learn), says this is an older house and he’s going to tell the insurance company I need hydro jetting to clear my pipes. 

Knowing nothing at the time, I say OK, and he tells me another company will come out in the afternoon. 

Of course, no company calls or comes that afternoon. 

I call back this plumber in the morning trying to figure out what is going on, and the secretary informs me that the one service I need, must have verbal approval from the insurance company.  She was on hold all yesterday with the insurance company – they never picked up their phones. 

Are you fucking kidding me? 

At this point, I’m a little stunned and starting to feel the rage building like a tempest at bay – all l need is a simple fucking drain unclogging.  How fucking hard is it to get a plumber to do this? 

However, I’m a good guy, so I keep my cool.  I never want to unload unless it’s my absolute last resort. 

So, I call the insurance company and cannot believe the hold message they have is actually real. 

It goes something like this: 

“Thank you for calling.  Due to COVID we are experiencing unprecedented requests and will most likely not be able to answer your call.  All service requests have been pre-approved so we will not be able to help you with the status of your order.  You can stay on the line, but you would be better to call the company servicing your order for any update.  We will not be able to assist you.” 

Yeah, that was some real shit. 

My blood is starting to boil as I listen to this, and I can’t believe this fucking company is still in business.  After a 30-minute hold, someone does pick up.  I calmly tell her my situation like a Zen monk grinding his teeth, she nicely says she’ll call the company to resolve it, puts me on hold, then comes back, and of course the plumbing company didn’t pick up. 

I ask her is there a direct line I can provide to them, email, anything so I can get this resolved?  She tells me no.  Have them call back this line. 

It was at this point, that I had my moment of clarity.  Here I was sitting helpless, stuck and wedged between the incompetence of two companies like a battered pipe in a vice, that I realized there would be no such thing as ever leaving corporations behind. 

I had always known this.  

I do unequivocally know this. 

But when shit gets brutal at work, I still find myself slipping into that delusional human state of unrealistic expectations.  I can’t help it.  I start playing the “only if” game and start knocking things out of my life and how great the future is going to be. 

Yet, in reality, I’ll always just have another form of the same problem to deal with.  Leaving my corporate job is only one small step in life.  No matter where I go or what I do, I’ll most likely still be interacting with corporations and business incompetence in all facets of my life. 

The world is built upon businesses.  There is no avoiding it. 

Eventually, the plumbing company was able to process the order with my insurance company.  A new plumber came out to do the hydro jetting.  Before he started the service, he asked me if the other guy had snaked it.  I said no (being the honest chap that I am), he didn’t really do anything at all I conveyed. 

This new plumber couldn’t believe it.  So he snaked the pipes first, solved the problem and that was that. 

Seven days after the sink clogging, I finally had a resolution. 

It was a minor inconvenience in the grand scheme of things, but at the time it felt like the world was conspiring to fuck me over. 

The move-in was a success.  Yet the residue still lingered like an empty pyrrhic victory. 

Regardless, the process itself and the small defeats along the way were a good reminder that fantasy land is fun to dream in, but unfortunately, our lives are lived in reality. 

Be careful placing all your hopes, wishes and dreams into a basket woven from withered hallucinations. 

While I might be going to different places myself in this life, big brother ain’t going anywhere.  There’s no point in being naïve. 

Run as fast and far as you can.  It doesn’t matter.  There is no escape regardless of what any FIRE blogger is trying to sell you on. 

It all comes down to this… 

There is the hammer and the anvil. 

One beats, and the other is beaten. 

Which will you be? 

-Q-FI 

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Have a recent run-in with an incompetent corporation?  Ever find yourself playing the “only-if” game?  Maintaining perspective is for the long haul and not the faint of heart… I wish you all luck in your endeavors to play it out with the upper hand.