Trusting Your Gut

I’m the kind of guy that likes to give people the benefit of the doubt.  I’m going into most situations with a positive attitude and expect the best in each person until proven wrong.  And this is selfish, but It’s easier for me to go through life assuming that most people have good intentions and would lend a helping hand to their neighbor without a second thought when needed. 

Yet sometimes you need to be able to read between the lines and put yourself first.  Basically, it all comes down to trusting your gut. 

Here’s a little story about some recent events over the past year that reaffirmed this belief. 

Back when I was training to actually run Spartan races (2019 basically, and man does that feel like it was a different lifetime ago), my wife and I had made the investment to train at a private gym.  After only a few weeks of working out I ended up running into an old high school buddy that I knew was a realtor (which I had heard from friends he was very good at).  We did the normal few minutes of shooting the superficial shit, and hey this is what I’m up to and hey, this is what you’re doing.  Then I mention that we should do dinner and catch up, but of course I really meant I’m just saying this to be nice and we’ll never end up doing it. 

Then trying to throw him a bone and wrap things up, I mention it would be good to pick his brain on real estate because we might be looking to purchasing a home down the road.  He said of course and we amicably parted ways.  (And don’t get me wrong, I like seeing people from my past but you know how it goes when you’re in a rush and you bump into someone who was only an acquaintance, you want to keep it to a minimum and move on.) 

Now, my mentioning that real estate interest at the end… big rookie mistake! 

The very next day I get a text from him setting up dinner for that weekend.  I tried to blow him off a couple times but the mo fo was persistent as an irritable rash.  I told my wife what had happened and she’s like you’re an idiot, he thinks we’re doing a house buying meeting.  I tell her no, no, no babe, it’s just a catch-up dinner.  I got this.  He and I chatted for a while, but I only mentioned real estate at the end of our conversation to be nice.  He got my meaning, and this is just old buds catching up over a bite to eat.  Sure, she said, you’re oblivious.  He’s going to try to sell you a house. 

So, we go to dinner and she was absolutely right (only one of the few times honey because I know you’ll read this – hahaha).  We show up and he has this large folder sitting in front of him at the Indian restaurant.  My wife and I do the normal – hey we haven’t seen each other in forever updates – and then he cut to the chase. 

He lays out these house options and goes into his folder, pitching us on places way too big and over the budget I would even consider.  Then he asks what we are pre-approved for.  I tell him, hey there must have been a misunderstanding, we’re not looking at this moment and I thought we were just going to discuss the market in broad terms for the future.  He brushes this off and does his good sales man pitch, gets all of our info and house preferences and by the time dinner is over I felt like I had just left one of those timeshare meetings you do to get the free dinner and massage. 

Alright, I had made a mistake.  But at least that was that and we were done.  Time to lick my wounds and move on. 

But nope, then the house listing emails start flying into my inbox like Kamikaze fighter jets.  At first it was fine, I like seeing what’s going on in the market and didn’t mind getting his opinion on what might be out there.  But he kept sending us stuff that was way above our price range and had none of the preferences that we had conveyed to him. 

Finally, after a few months I had enough and gave him a call.  I said thanks for all of the information but we’re going to delay our purchase until next year – no need to send us anymore info in the near term.  The timing just isn’t right and we’d like to save more as well as see if the market starts to decline.  A recession is way overdue and we’ve already been patient up to this point… yadda yadda ya. 

I was expecting some genuine heartfelt assurances about how he understood.  “Sure, Q-FI, you’re my client and I hear you.  I’m here for you whenever it is the right time for you to buy.”  But no, I was fucking shocked at his response.  And I get realtors’ motives.  He wants to move product.  If he doesn’t sell then he doesn’t get paid that commission.  But I was floored by what he said to me. 

After listening to what I, the customer/client relayed to him – my feelings and concerns – he flat out told me I was wrong.  I shouldn’t wait and needed to buy a house right now.  If I wait, then home prices will just keep rising and interest rates won’t stay low.  Plus, if the market actually does decline, cash buyers will push me out and I won’t be able to buy anyway. 

Whoa buddy!  WO WO WO…. slow your fucking roll! 

At first, I thought he must be joking but he wasn’t.  He was dead serious.  So, I reiterated my initial stance – thanks but we’ll wait and then he started actually arguing with me as to why I should still buy a house now. 

I couldn’t fucking believe it.  And I know this guy, this isn’t just some chump off the street.  Although we were never great or close friends, I still couldn’t believe what I was hearing.  This wasn’t even good business practice.  Argue and piss off your client?  What the fuck? 

Why would I pick him now, to be my agent in making the largest purchase of my entire life, when he wouldn’t listen to me at all? 

It was mind blowing but here was a classic example of me not trusting my gut from the start.  Even from our very first encounter at dinner, I knew that something was wrong when he forced the pitch on us instead of being patient and gaining our trust.  But because we had a prior relationship and many common acquaintances, I gave him the benefit of the doubt even though I knew deep down I didn’t trust this guy to put my best interests first. 

I can guarantee you that this guy will not be our realtor moving forward and I would hope most realtors aren’t like him and don’t pressure their clients into making purchases that they can’t afford.  Obviously, that’s wishful and naïve thinking but I can’t help it. 

And if you happen to be a realtor, no offense meant, but the majority of my dealings with your profession have definitely given me reason for concern.  When big money is on the line, people’s real motives bubble to the surface rather quickly. 

But to sum it all up, I was the one that got myself into this mess.  I was the one that placed that fantasy land of wishful thinking above following my instincts.  So hopefully the next time I find myself in a similar situation, I’ll save myself some time and trust my gut over wishing for a certain outcome. 

Peace out homies! 

-Q-FI 

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P.S.  Let’s hear it.  When have you been burned by not trusting your gut lately?