Normally I’m mild mannered and nice in my posts, but not today. Today you’re in for a treat. And I’m talking to you, yeah you, the one reading this who my finger’s pointing at from out of the fucking computer screen.
Because I’m pumped up for this one. Time to finally take a contrarian view and stir things up.
I feel like I do before a race or big game as I type this. My heart’s pumping, blood rushing, and most importantly, I’m smiling. Because I’m enjoying this. These words have been bottled up for way too long. I have been wronged and it’s time to set the record straight.
So let’s begin…
Numbers don’t tell the whole story. Period.
Do you understand this? No really, do you understand this?
Because it still amazes me how the FI community cannot wrap its head around this simple sentence. People get lost in the math. They say they don’t, but they do. Oh yes, boy do they ever.
What’s the biggest hurdle many people are facing on their road to FI? Student Debt?
Yep. And rightly so, these loan companies have no business dishing out the amounts and rates that they are to basically, well let’s face it, children. It’s nothing short of criminal. And if you’re a grad student, well… I can’t help you out there. That ones on you. You’re actually old enough to do math.
But I’m sick and tired of college getting such a bad rap. All I hear on podcasts and read in FI blogs is you need to optimize… oh yeah baby, optimize. Fill out those college applications as if Tim fucking Ferris is sitting on your knee whispering the 4-hour work week and his next blockbuster idea into your sweet little ears. Or cut down the number of years you need to go to college. Never attend a four-year university if you haven’t done two years of community college first to save money.
Bull shit!
I hate to be the one to break it you, I really do. Well, not today, and sure as fuck not in this post because my smile is wider than a Cheshire cat trying to swallow the moon.
There is more to life than numbers, bucko. And here’s why…
If all you see is the paper cost of college, then you’re missing the real value. You’ve already lost the game my friend and might as well shine those shoes for the funeral procession of your life. Sure, if you want to commute from home and go to classes locally, then go to community college. That’s fine. I have no beef with that. But this post doesn’t apply to you.
This post is for those freshmen who are going away, embarking on a life adventure at 18 years old to go live with their peers in a dorm and find out who they really are. It’s mano a mano time. Time to zip up your big boy pants, because you’re on your own. No more training wheels from Mommy and Daddy. Only life at its finest: raw, uncut and full of little splinters of experience that glitter like the gold that they are.
I’ll never forget my freshman year. It was one of the best years of my life, and not because it was some cake walk, but because it was filled with trials, tribulations and tragedy. It shaped who I am today: the people I met, the wins, the losses, the fights, the parties, studying into all hours of the night, the relationships, the city, the drama, jail, cancer, death, burning couches (I can explain), all the fun, the growth, experimentation, the learning, the progress, the good times, the bad times and everything in between.
It lived up to the hype as advertised and more.
But all I hear today, is Q-FI, that shit doesn’t matter – you lived in a bygone era. Life is about the dollars and optimizing. Skip those life events because we’re smarter than that, cleverer than that, better than that. This is how you do it right.
Well fuck that line of thinking all the way back to the unicorn you rode in on. College is not simply a transaction for skills. It’s a place to grow and develop.
I can always make more money later. The debt doesn’t scare me, hell, I don’t even flinch at it. Because I will never get back those first two years of college. I will never be 18 and 19 years old again, fresh faced and open eyed, ready to form my own views and experience life. That’s why they are so valuable, because you still have an unmolded mind. You’re impressionable. The development and maturation going on at that time of your life is priceless because the window of opportunity is so small. The real world hasn’t beaten you to smithereens yet with the Jack hammer of life.
If you want to trade that for a few more golden years down the road, then this is where our paths diverge. And maybe I’m the only one that feels this way, and that’s just fine, because I suffer from I’m unique syndrome every damn day.
Poor me, poor me, pour me another drink.
You can optimize your ass off until your left foot falls off. I don’t give a shit. But if you aren’t looking beyond the numbers, you can’t see the whole picture. And that makes me both sad and pissed off.
Because numbers don’t tell the whole story. Period.
You think you have what it takes to comment below and set me straight? Then bring it.
Let the keyboard warriors come.
Because I’ll be waiting…
-Q-FI
This was a good post to read today. My son is a high school senior and wants to take off across the country to go to school someplace I can’t afford to send him. Community college at home is free. This morning he asked me if we could look at “his 1st and only choice” tonight. Not sure what advice I want to give him, but thanks for the reminder that college is life experience not just education.
Hey Donna. I was a little over the top on this one, but I stick by my point. The four years of my undergrad, were some of the best years of my life. I didn’t take out “crazy loans,” but I did take out loans and they were worth every penny – in the arena of life, not in book smarts.
Obviously, money is probably the ultimate determinant. But too often I hear the life experience element treated as if it were worthless. As with all decisions in life, we have to weigh all of the pros with all of the cons and make the best decision for us on an individual basis.
I’m sure whatever conclusion you come to, will be the right choice for your son. Best of luck in deciding.
Thanks for chiming in!
It is good for me to read this. For years I have said my kids will go to residence in their first year of school. The value of meeting people at the same stage of life, in the same place, with the same struggles is what makes the bonds so strong and so real. Even though we don’t get together much I still consider friends from my 1st year of school my deepest that I could to in time of need at any time
My kids are 14 and 16. I have been back sliding on them going away. That maybe they should live at home. Cost yes but just as much as I will miss them when they are gone. Once I moved out for school I only came home one summer. As I enter retirement in the next year or two I kinda want them around.
You are not buying an education. You are buying the best time of their lives.
It’s interesting Vader, I just watched one of my nieces go through the process of applying to colleges and she’ll be moving into the dorms next week. She chose a CA State school (which is only an hour away from her home), but she ran the gamut from private schools, to out of state, to local, etc. I shared my experiences with her, but it’s just tough to compare to todays day and age. Like you, I remain a strong proponent of going away and having an adventure, but I also admit times have changed. Kids raised on social media just seem a little different to me. And the older I get, the more I tend to think (assuming money is not a limiting factor) that the decision really depends on the kid themselves – what’s their personality like, how mature are they, interests, etc.
But I still stand by the notion that there is an experiential value that gets overlooked more often than not. Yet at the same time, college is so much more expensive than when I went twenty years ago. My kids are only 1 and 2 so I’m light years away and will be almost sixty when this decision finally needs to be made, so who knows what the college game will look like then.
Either way it’s not an easy choice, but regardless of the ultimate decision you and your kids make together, their lives will turn out just fine.
Best of luck Vader and thanks for sharing a small piece of your life with me.