I was thinking about this the other day, because you get so many FI blogs that trumpet side hustles as a necessary means to FI. And I’ll admit, that term “side hustle” is a sexy little bitch. Those two words are cloaked in FI invincibility and brand you as one cool-ass mother fucker!
Because who doesn’t want to be able to spin that tale…
What’s up bitches? I have a side hustle and I’m killing it. Working hard at your job? Sucks to be you. I got this little side hustle that I love to do and it’s showering me in money – wait, how much money you ask? Did I hear you right? Yep, so much money that I bought myself a fucking time machine (yes, it was on sale and used, because I don’t buy brand new as a FI-bad ass) and actually traveled back in time to retire at 8 months old in my mother’s womb so that when I popped out one month later, I was the first fucking FI baby!
Now that is some fucking badass shit, and worthy of the side hustle hall of fame. Hahaha.
Plus, throw a couple one-liners like this out at the water cooler chat (now Zoom cyber call), and you’ll be the envy of your office. Damn, that guy or girl is really fucking smart – and one badass side hustling mother fucker! Look at them raking in all of that passive income! Man, I wish I were like them…
Yet personally, I have always struggled with the term “side hustle”. Because although it is one sexy catch-phrase to throw around and show other FI bloggers and podcasters how smart you are as a multiple cashflow-stream-ninja, isn’t all you’re doing simply working more?
Let’s be clear, and unless I am missing something drastic here, a side hustle is nothing more than a second job. Right? But when I say, “hey, what’s up FI peeps, I’m working a second job.” That shit doesn’t sound sexy at all. I just killed my coolness and now I’m a sucker that has to work two jobs and can’t find a side hustle.
Yet the FI-high-fives will shower you on Twitter as to what a smart and crafty person you are, if you market it slightly different. With a side hustle, you have beaten the system. Yes, you are one of us now Q-FI. You have been initiated into the we-get-to-call-working-two-jobs-a-different-name-club! Hahahaha. If you couldn’t tell, I’m having a lot of fun with this. Who ever knew talking about side hustles could be such a blast!
Yet, I don’t see any difference between this and working two jobs.
Let’s just play this out for shits and giggles. So, if I work a normal W2, 9-5 and decide to work at McDonald’s at night, isn’t that my side hustle?
No no no Q-FI, you got it all wrong, that’s working two jobs.
Okay? So, what’s the difference? Now I’m really confused.
Your side hustle has to be passive, and even though you do actual work for it, you must convince yourself that this “work,” isn’t real work and is actually fun. Because “real work” can never be classified as a side hustle. This is written in stone as one of the FI commandments chiseled in the newly laid concrete at MMM headquarters in Longmont, CO.
Alright, so now I get it. Thank you for explaining all of this to me. Now that I have everything straight, let’s debunk this shit a little:
I think I’ve seen two main myths with the almighty and infallible side hustle:
- The side hustle is usually a lot more work and time intensive than people admit.
- The side hustle is much less profitable than people tout.
Because what side hustle really means is (at least as far as I can tell, and I love being educated and enlightened on this blog): I’m starting a new job on my own. But lifestyle design marketers don’t want you to remember this or bring it into the limelight. Stealth, coolness, belonging and a hip contrarian stance need to be marketed just right in order to light that motivational fire within you. We’re going against the grain here baby, pure FI exclusivity. Now you’re on the inside, now you’re in the know, and you’re taking back your life one glorified FI phase at a time.
And to be entirely transparent, I do not have a “side hustle.” I don’t monetize this blog at all (and I’m not naïve that I would be able to make any money with a paltry following even if I tried – but that’s by design). And if you are monetizing and making money, I have no problem with that. I’m all for making more money. But let’s be honest, a side hustle is just a fancy way of saying I’m working a whole lot more than just my full-time job.
And here’s the real kicker that drives everything, the term “side hustle” is pure fucking FI marketing gold!
if someone is suggesting you start a side hustle or a new lifestyle design business, it’s usually not coming from the goodness of their heart. There is almost always some kind of monetary incentive involved when someone is trumpeting: look what I did, and you can do it too! They need you to click on cool, inspirational links that tell you they’ll be with you every step of the way. And they will be. They are telling you the truth. As long as they make money off of you, damn right they’ll be with you every step of the way! You are one profitable mother fucker to them. Plus, they need to continue motivating you to dole out that lifestyle design money.
My point is, be cautious and skeptical just like you are with everything else in life. More often than not, you don’t need to be shelling out your hard-earned dough on things you already know.
And if you take anything away from this, try not to be a “side hustle” sucker and fall victim to this beautiful FI marketing dream. FI like anything else, is a business. People are selling affiliate links, marketing, coaching, the illusion of happiness and a better way. Regardless what you do, you still have to live your life and make your own decisions. The amount of Twitter followers a blog has are not credentials to manufacture happiness (yes, someone actually used Twitter followers as credentialed legitimacy. Sigh.)
So, do what you’re doing right now. Live your life. Design your life yourself and don’t pay someone to do the work that only you can do anyway.
Trust me, you already have all the tools you need.
There is so much fucking free content out there. Ask questions, interact with bloggers who have achieved what it is you want. People will help you and steer you in the right direction (for free!). And if you want to buy coaching or someone’s eBook, hey, that’s on you. Knock yourself out. Just remember, side hustles and lifestyle design are not panaceas. They’re businesses, just like everything else in capitalism.
Making more money is great! Replacing your soul-sucking full-time job with passive cashflow is amazing! Work from anywhere, sign me up! But all of these benefits usually come with caveats.
I would just be careful and cognizant of marketers repackaging working hard as some new sexy silver bullet for life. It’s all the same.
Keep your head up, work hard and call it whatever you want. I’ll see you on the other side.
-Q-FI
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P.S. Have you ever had a side hustle aka second job? Why or why not? How’d it go? Or even better, if you’re a lifestyle consultant/coach, I’d love to hear you on doling out that FI mana!
You’re speaking my language! It’s great to find someone else not sucked in to the side hustle porn. I was starting to feel like Will Smith in I am legend where the FI community has been taken over by zombies and I was the last real person standing, but alas I have found another! I have a second job, but it’s a second job. I’m under no illusions.
I don’t call myself a grime fighter when I do the dishes to make it sound more exciting. And don’t get me started on the twitter users that beg for followers. It’s actually sad to see that. Keep speaking the truth man
What’s up YMB and thanks for commenting! I’m glad this post resonated with you. “Side Hustle Porn,” I love that. Hahahaha. I didn’t think of it that way, but you’re dead on.
And yeah (only my opinion), but I agree with you on the FI community sliding into this zombie land of conformity.
Man, this one is a classic! I laughed til I nearly cried at the “so much $ I bought a used time machine” bit.
It’s all true, particularly it simply being nothing other than a 2nd job. I hear a lot of jabber on the side hustle thing, but oddly I’ve never seen any legit published financial data. A lot of reminds me those old ads from a zillion year ago, “make millions stuffing envelopes from home, send me $ and I’ll tell you how.”
Not surprisingly, I see that no “lifestyle coaches/consultants” have chimed in here which, of course, proves your point.
Hahahaha… I’m glad you liked that time machine bit. I had fun writing this one.
And I’m all for making money any way you can. But when people are shoving “take my side hustle course” on how to side hustle down your throat, it gets kind of sad.