When I’m at my happiest, I experience the world in rhythms.
It’s that simple.
I’m a drummer, so you might be thinking – yeah, no fucking shit.
But it’s more than music for me… more than patterns. There is a pulse to life that I can actively tell whether I’m in tune with or not.
That’s kind of a weird thing to say, or maybe a bizarre counterbalance to use as the barometer for living a level existence.
But that’s just me.
Things are clicking when my subconscious is humming along, my heartbeat becomes my own internal metronome – those sprinklers across the street are spouting off at a 6/8 time signature, that woodpecker is tattooing a ¾ waltz with his long beak and bright red mohawk on the telephone pole, my air conditioner is rocking out to a classic 4/4 anthem.
When I’m walking on sunshine, these beats just flow through me. I know that I’m alive and part of this world… just another note in the song of creation.
This might not sound like a big deal to you. But to me it is. Because I lost it for a long time. It’s fucking scary when that shit happens, because it’s like piece of you died and you have no idea how to get it back.
Sometimes you can lose that thing you love, and the joy evaporates like water on fire.
I hope this never happens to you dear reader.
I hope you always dance to the rhythm of your life.
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I started thinking about rhythms while daydreaming the other day. I was outside in my yard, collecting rocks of all things for a natural pathway I’m going to build. There’s even a rhythm to that, a cadence, a shuffle – bend over, pick up, move on, sift the sand.
Hahaha.
And I started thinking of life as a symphony. We have different chapters to our lives, and these are like movements. Although which movement happens throughout the years and when, is unique for each person.
The typical structure would be:
1st Movement…
We are born. We have arrived. An opening sonata or allegro – something brisk and lively to emphasize this exciting new beginning. The unknown is beckoning, waiting, calling us forth.
2nd Movement…
We are growing up, learning, experiencing, experimenting and developing. We might pick a slower movement – such as an andante to emphasize our lyrical growth. There will be both wins and losses as we stumble to find our footing and steer which direction that we go.
The searching has begun.
3rd Movement…
We are adults. We are developed. We are grown. We have matured. We are in our prime. The world is ours for the taking.
We believe we know it all, so It’s time for an energetic minuet or boisterous scherzo in trio.
4th Movement…
Hopefully this is reaching financial independence and it is a long-lived finale. Dreams are reached, possibilities realized, relationships nurtured, and no-regret experiences cherished like a newborn babe folded under our arms. We finish with a rollicking bang as we stumble drunkenly off our own providential and auspicious fortunes into the great beyond!
If we’ve done it right, we finish at the peak of our performance with an allegro, rondo or sonata. The conductor waves one last wild and feverish spasm of the baton. We put down our instruments and bow to the raucous crowd.
“Encore!” They shout.
But that’s it. It’s a wrap. That’s a life.
There are no second acts with death.
As we continue with this theme, each year we live might be a single bar of music. And each day we journey from dawn till dusk, one single note out of so many played.
I don’t know. Slice and dice it as you like, it’s up for you to decide.
Yet, to make this symphony work, we need the rhythm. We need the pulse of the beats to tie it all together. And as the movements shift so do the cadences of our lives.
And make no mistake, our rhythms do change.
I hear all the time from other bloggers – just make the leap and quit work. Do it now once you’ve hit your number, or better yet even before! What’s the worst that can happen? All you have to do is go back to your job if it doesn’t work out. It’s that simple. Your life right now is the worst it can get.
You’re more than welcome to do that by the way. Take whichever advice suits you.
However, I always find these whimsical fantasies to be a bit naïve.
If you think your current life right now is the worst it can get – oh no buddy boy or gal – you’re fucking living in la la land. There is always a worse case than the worst situation, and more often than not, some form of it is going to play out during your lifetime.
But that’s not the point of this post. I’ll stroll between the towering Redwoods of those unfortunate and unavoidable risks on some other day.
What I want to emphasize today is the rhythm, the flow, that natural tempo that your daily living projects.
When you’re in the workforce, the rhythm to your life is chaotic. This is by design. Do as much as you possibly can with what finite time you have. It’s like you’re stuck in movement 3 only dreaming about the finale in movement 4 but it never comes.
Too many contradicting forces are tugging you in different directions. The notes are dissonant, either being played too sharp or too flat. You’re being pushed along instead of progressing at your natural pace.
However, if you pull the plug early, and can escape the corporate grind, there will be a new pattern to your life. Those who are already living FI can probably attest to this. Things slow back down to movement 2. You have more time to learn, more time to experience things in a fuller sense. You don’t have to accomplish so many things all the time. “Thou Shalt” is no longer hanging over your head like the executioner’s axe. You’ve been able to escape the dungeons of confinement and limitations with your life still intact.
Your problems don’t go away, but they have different hue to them now, as if you’re looking at them through a stained-glass window. Everything is just a little bit brighter, more vibrant here.
The rhythm to your life has changed. The pace has picked up the slightest notch. There’s a little more lilt, a little more swing in your step.
I experienced this firsthand when I was unemployed for an entire year. Once that corporate structure was gone, time seemed to move differently. My days slowed down and it took me longer to do things, but in a good way, in a more enjoyable way.
Why?
Because I had the time.
The melody of my life was dancing to a new tune with brighter overtones. The hectic beats of a corporate existence no longer boomed in my ears. This avant-garde time signature was in a different key. I had to retune the strings, and the symphony changed. The notes became more clear, more fluent, more pleasurable.
I had finally found my voice, to sing a song that was uniquely mine.
Now, once you’ve experienced, or should I say found that new rhythm to your life, changing your tune to return to the corporate world might not be so easy. Going back will require dancing to a different number.
Everything must change.
But is there even a job to go back to? The longer you’re out of the workforce, the more stigmatized you become. Sure, there are ways to overcome everything. But what would it really be like returning to work with the tail of failure tucked between your legs?
Probably not so hot. Probably not so glamorous. Probably not so easy as just jumping right back into it like everyone has told you. (The next time you see that piece of advice, I’d recommend you ask that blogger if they have ever experienced that themselves – how hard was it to return to the workforce after tasting freedom and planting that FI flag of conquest into the ground? My hunch is they have never lived that experience, they’re only guessing.)
And I can guarantee you probably won’t be dancing… more likely dragging your heels to face the drudgery of a FI death.
Hahaha.
Just joking. You got this. You’re smarter than all the rest. Or you wouldn’t even be reading this, right?
But would you dive headfirst into a mountain pool without checking how deep it is first?
I don’t know, maybe you would.
That risk is up to you.
But what a finale it would be. Hahaha. I know, what a fucking prick!
Anyway, follow your own rhythm when you can. Follow the beat to a different drum, because you just never know where it might lead you.
Pay attention to the key your ears are tuned to and may your symphony of life find itself playing out on the largest stage possible.
Dance. Fucker. Dance.
And may your own music set you free.
-Q-FI
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When is it that you find yourself happiest? What must click into place for you to try on the clothes of contentment?
I love this one! I’ve also been taking a look at life through the lens of rhythms as well recently. As well as the analogous view of a story narrative, chapters, or just the pure meter of words. I like the framing of life with movements – good concept indeed.
I definitely agree that the pace slows down when not working. However, with respect to problems (which still exist in FI-landia), I’ve found them to characterized by increased intensity or clarity. I think it’s due largely to the fact that the chaos and distraction of hectic workaday life can actually serve to muffle or mute some of intensity of life’s problems. Maybe it’s just me thought. Nevertheless, all one can do, as you say is: Dance Fucker Dance! (killer line btw).
Thanks Mr. Fate and glad you liked it. This post literally came out of nowhere yesterday morning and just flowed.
If I can feel the rhythms around me, then I know things are going well. The sprinkler analogy was literally taken from this. After getting clean, music was just dead to me for several years. Then one random night, I woke up in the middle of it to sprinklers going off at 2am in a school field across the street from my house and my mind was counting along to the 6/8 time signature… 1,2,3,4,5,6… 2,2,3,4,5,6…3,2,3,4,5,6… and I can’t express how wide my smile was. I was starting to experience the world in rhythms automatically again. That was an amazing breakthrough for me.
I agree the story narrative with chapters also fits well. You can go either way with it.
That’s very interesting that problems can be more intense after FI. I would have never even considered that. But it makes total sense, that if you have more time to do the things you love, you also have more time to worry as well with less distractions. Thanks for sharing that – it’s something I want to mull over in more detail when I have the time.
And, “Dance Fucker Dance” is actually a Dexter Holland lyric from “You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid,” so I can’t take any credit. After typing the word “dance” for the fifth time in this post, that song popped in my head and I’m like yes! This is how this post must end! Hahaha.
Great analogy; rhythm and cadence are important to all of us. I think part of the reason I haven’t been able to quit yet is all the uncertainty around post-FI life. The current song isn’t that bad, not bad enough that I need to skip to the next track (just yet).
I’m interested to know who your favorite drummers are? I’m not a huge fan of hard rock or metal, but I have always loved Tool because of Danny Carey’s way of creating a mesmerizing soundscape (and lots of toms!), and the band uses many crazy time signatures. I always enjoyed Neil Peart’s work, and you could draw a lot of similarities between those two. I guess I just love prog rock, deep down.. haha.
Dude, even if you haven’t quit yet, you’re putting the FI wheels in motion – literally relocating and prioritizing your time. Plus, if you can double dip and enjoy the best of both worlds, no need to hang up the boots in my mind. Enjoy that sweet spot for as long as you can.
Nice play on words with “skip to the next track.” I see what you did there. Hahaha. Well played.
Oh man, favorite drummers – so many good ones. And Danny Carey is one of them, that you point out. All the guys in Tool are amazing musicians. I enjoy a lot of different genres of music so I’ll keep this relatively brief. My all time favorite drummer is Jordan Burns (former drummer of Strung Out). I grew up on early 90’s punk and Strung Out is my all time favorite band. Burns left Strung Out in 2018 to my dismay and the band just hasn’t been the same since. I’ve always been a big fan of Sammy J Watson (less known drummer of Apex Theory and Mt. Helium) – he’s like a Danny Carey type. Youtube “Get to Work” by the Apex Theory and you’ll hear one of this famous beats. When it comes to Jazz, gotta go with Buddy Rich, he’s the master. I’ve always respected Stewart Copeland’s chops as well, I think he has one of the rarest and most distinguished styles. Also love Bryan “Brain” Mantia. My favorite song to play on stage to this day is “The Awakening” with Les Claypool. Just drums and bass – the rhythm section. Need a very talented bass player to play this with. I played in a Jam band in college, and the bassist and I would sometimes start the set with this, just him and I. That shit would turn heads.
But like you mention Peart and others, so many good ones out there. I’d also throw out there if it’s flash you want, Tony Royster Jr was so fucking good as a little kid. Youtube some of his early shit and it will blow your mind.
Life is a rhythm and I think you captured that feeling well in this fine piece. There are so many gentle patterns and rhythms that occur in nature and life that I think you’re analogy of music is perfect for describing it. Same for the chapters. When I look back over my life so far, I can see about 3 or 4 chunks or chapters. Each with their own beat.
I know what you mean about life the slowing down of life when work isn’t part of the equation. I think the older a person is when they quit work, the harder it will be to recover from and jump back into the work force if that were a Plan B. I was able to jump back into work in my 20’s (3) times after extended time off and each time it got harder…and that was with no family. Back then though, I was a carpenter, and luckily being a carpenter is pretty much gig work. I think when I personally get closer to FI, it may be hard to pull the trigger if a bear market/correction hasn’t surfaced yet in the next 5 years or so. If I did have to go back to work, I would just go back swinging my hammer rather being in management. Much easier to get right back in.
This is a great counter to the overly optimistic pieces I’ve come across quite a bit in the FIRE hub. Plan for the worst.
You make a very good point here Noel, that the ease of going back to a job probably depends on what type of job it is. If you do something like carpentry, that won’t go out of style (or I don’t envision it at least doing that), the odds of returning are greater than in a fast shifting industry or more niche jobs.
Like you, I’ve also found going back to things more difficult each time.
It’d be nice if some of the FIRE hype were a little more realistic. Sure you can leave any job early and find a way to make it work. But I think they gloss over how difficult it can be to return sometimes due to stigmatization as well as your own emotional and psychological struggles. It’s not as easy as flipping a switch. Now, that risk along shouldn’t stop you from pulling the trigger, but it needs to be vetted realistically first.
As always, thanks for sharing you experiences. I love hearing about them.
Word bud!
I agree. I read too many scenarios where I think the blogger is living or writing through rose-colored glasses. Getting back into the working world can be tough when you’ve been out for awhile, especially in a culture like ours that’s dedicated to hard work. It doesn’t mean it can’t happen, but it may not be easy. And the younger people are now your competition.
I also think much of the focus in this community is that people won’t be happy until they’re free from their jobs. That isn’t always the case. Maybe people need out of a particular job, but not necessarily work altogether. Too many variables too mention here.
Back to the symphony and movement analogy, though, which is awesome! What about the beauty of the working movement too? It’s not all bad, right? Especially if you dance, fucker, dance! (Best line!!)
You’re a good example Katie along with Adam above that it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. To me, you guys combining work and play to shape the best life to live is one of the best ways to go. Plus as you point out, some people may need out of specific toxic jobs rather than work itself. There are so many different ways to go about it.
Marketers are still pitching a dream lifestyle, but I do think there has been an improvement on vetting the psychological side more. Still not enough being said in my opinion, but hey, I’ll take a start.
I know that at least for my profession in M&A, you take a break or sabbatical and no one wants you because you’re not up to date on the current market trends. Yes, you can make your way back, but the longer you are out, the more difficult this will be. I also agree on your point that the older you get, that younger generation is right on your heals to take your spot. Like with everything in life, there is no guarantee. Haha.
People are really liking that “Dance. fucker. Dance.” Who woulda thought? =)
It goes back to that saying by Mike Tyson something like everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face/mouth. I feel like I could Coast FI at some point, but just giving up my W 2 wage slavery now that’s ballsy. I have kids that needed braces, break stuff collar bones, knees, I’m due for two dental implants this summer. This shit is expensive. It’s all good though. Earth is full of the goodness of the Lord!
That is a great Tyson Line and true by the way.
Make the leap when you’re ready. I’m not against making the leap at all. But that leap shouldn’t be sugarcoated by people trying to market a dream and selling you shit.
I also agree with you Glincoln, giving up the W2 is ballsy. There’s nothing more real than living it in the flesh and putting your money where your mouth is. Hopefully that will be sooner rather than later for you.
Thanks for swinging by and chiming in! Much appreciated my man!
i’ve always been a person who needs a certain balance of the instruments in the symphony to thrive. if one instrument is off it affects me whether it looks like it should from an outside perspective or not. i remember being back in school in my mid-20’s. i was one of the better runners on the cross country team. my grades were ok. i lived with some friends who were fun and we were all poor together. the items out of tune were not particularly liking the rest of the cross country folks and going around in a state of un-laid for an extended period. i remember just not taking any of my final exams. i didn’t call or make excuses and the result was like brother bluto: zero point zero grade point average! asked never to return to that liberal arts institution. that was 1992 and almost 30 years later i can’t explain it except that something was off. maybe a different adventure was calling or the venture didn’t seem worthwhile at that point in time.
this was another fine post. i’m not leaving my cushy 9-5 just because some blogger says i have met my number and i should. we all own our lives. if i’m at a party and anyone puts on primus i’m going home. no offense to those who love them.
Hahahaha… You had me in stitches with that Primus line. The funny thing is that I’m not the biggest Primus fan either, but I love “the brain” and Claypool. Just phenomenal rhythm sections between bassist and drummer. I’m curious what Mr. Fate thinks of Claypool? Maybe we can get him to chime in since he’s a bassist. Hahaha.
Why we do stupid things when we’re young, we’ll probably never know. Something was driving you to rebel and you followed it. And those definitely were some consequences – zero point grade average, that almost takes talent to pull off! Or oversized cajones! Hahaha.
“We all own our lives.” Well said and that sums it up perfectly.
Thanks for sharing that story Freddy.