Step out of your Comfort Zone

I believe firmly in trying new things.  It’s when we challenge ourselves outside of our comfort zone that the real growth begins. 

I had an old boss who would always say, “take a new route to work every day.  Don’t get stuck in repetition.”  I think his underlying message was true.  You never know what you’ll find…  You never know who you might bump into… You never know what you might learn. 

I try to live this mindset of trying new things.  Taking chances.  What do I have to lose?  Everything?  Well… isn’t everything over-rated? 

Doing something different might seem scary at first, but we need to push through the fear. 

I travel often for work and the Sacramento (SMF) Airport is one of my constant hubs.  If you fly Southwest then you’ve probably eaten at the Esquire Grill before.  It’s notorious for how slow the food and waiting staff are.  The first thing they ask you when you put your name in is how long until your flight, because it might be a while buddy! 

Just the other day I was eating there with an hour until my flight, and barely got out in time.  But if you have the time, the food is excellent and well worth the wait.  The pan roasted chicken is my favorite but you can’t go wrong with the Salmon either.  Be advised, you will drop a pretty dime in this airport gem. 

If someone offers an act of kindness – take it.  Never place yourself above gratitude. 

So a few weeks back I’m going through the security checkpoint at SMF Airport for one of my routine flights back home to LA from Sacramento.  I pop out onto the boarding gate area and glance down at my phone.  Shit, I thought.  Only one hour until my flight was scheduled to board.  I wanted to eat at the Esquire Grill, but one hour would be cutting it close. 

I debated it for a few seconds before I decided to roll the dice and take a chance.  Worst case, if I was severely delayed then I’d get a shitty seat on Southwest.  It was a short flight home, about an hour, but I knew the flight would be full.  And I hated having a middle seat on a flight.  I’m window seat guy, and when I don’t get my window, there will be hell to pay!  Hahahaha. 

I walked up to the front of the restaurant to ask the hostess for a table.  There was only one gentleman ahead of me so it looked like I’d be seated soon.  She wrote down my name and then preceded to lead the waiting gentleman to his table. 

Like every sad sack of beans nowadays, I whipped out my phone from habit and started scrolling through emails trying to pass the time. 

In less than a minute the hostess was back.  “I’m sorry sir,” she said with a slight frown, “but it looks like your wait will be about 15 minutes until another table is available.” 

She paused briefly and then said something else, but I didn’t hear her.  My mind had already moved on.  Fuck, fifteen minutes to wait.  Now I’ll already be down to only 45 minutes before I even order.  This isn’t shaping up how I thought it would… 

She kept staring at me with a quizzical expression on her face until I realized the second thing she had said must have been a question. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that last thing you said.” 

“Would you like to sit with the gentleman who was seated before you?”  She asked again. 

I paused as I tried to make sense of what she had just asked.  “What do mean,” I finally stammered. 

“The gentleman before you was seated in a booth,” she explained patiently.  “He said he didn’t need all of the room and that if someone else wanted to sit with him, they were more than welcome to.” 

Slowly what she was saying to me sank in.  Sit with a stranger?  In a booth… face to face?  Shit.  I’m exhausted.  I desperately tried to remember what the man looked like, but I had been so preoccupied with my own rush to get seated that the memory eluded me.  My thoughts kept swirling and making excuses.  The last thing I want to do is sit and small talk while I’m trying to wolf down this meal and get to my flight home.  I don’t even like talking to people on planes.  I don’t want to do this at all. 

But then a small voice in my head whispered, why not?  Here was a small gesture of kindness?  Why not see what happens?  Why not try something new and step out of your comfort zone? 

So without really knowing what I was doing, I agreed, and followed my hostess to the table. 

By trying new things, we open our minds and expand our limited perceptions to entertain another world of possibilities that simply would have passed us by. 

I cautiously slid into the luxuriously padded seat across from my benevolent stranger.  He looked to be a little older than me, maybe mid-forties or so, slim build with a clean-cut appearance and his laptop open in front of him.  If I had to guess, he had engineer written all over him. 

“Thanks for letting me sit with you, I appreciate it.”  I said. 

He glanced up from his computer briefly and smiled.  “Sure, I have all of this room and it would be a waste on only me.”  Then he went back to work. 

I sat for a few seconds trying to think of something to say, but my mind went blank.  I couldn’t tell if he liked working and this was his way of saying, sit and eat but don’t bother me, or if he invited me to sit in order to have a conversation? 

The silence was getting awkward so I whipped out my phone again and started tinkering around.  Then the pessimistic thoughts began taking hold.  Well, way to go Q-FI.  You said yes to this new experience and now it’s going to be a disaster.  Instead of sitting alone and relaxing now you’re stuck in this awkward, uncomfortable situation for a whole hour! 

Finally, I couldn’t take it any longer.  Fuck it, I thought.  He invited me to sit so I’m going to try to talk whether he likes it or not.  I’m not going to sit here for an hour typing on my computer in silence. 

When in doubt, speak up.  The person sitting across the aisle might be just as lonely as you are.  And whether we like to admit it or not, we all crave connection. 

So I started with the normal queue, “You fly into Sacramento often?”  Followed up by the usual suspects, “So what do you do, and where are you from?” 

And that’s all it took to get the ball rolling.  He closed the laptop; we ordered our drinks and entrees and the conversation flowed from there.  He was a biotech sales rep (though originally an engineer, so I was right, hahaha, I’m getting good at picking you guys out now) from Vancouver, Washington. 

I’ve always been interested in maybe moving some day to the Pacific Northwest so I grilled him on the area and how he liked living there.  He gave me a ton of insights that I wouldn’t have ever gleaned without talking to someone who was native. 

Then I got into my own background and the time flew by.  Before I knew it, the bill was paid and I was sincerely thanking him for offering to share his seat with me. 

I was out the door without a minute to spare, but my step was lighter.  There was a smile on my face because an unexpected gift had fallen into my lap.  I had made a connection with another human being.  Sat and listened, and really cared about what he was saying all because of a random act of kindness. 

It’s situations like these that give me hope for humanity, that with all the screens and constant technological stimuli pushed into our faces, we’re not headed in the wrong direction.  We still crave real relationships and enjoy one-on-one personal interaction. 

And in a small sense, I was proud of myself.  I’ve actively been trying to step out of my comfort zone and do new things, but I understand how valuable our time is and we can’t say yes to everything.  Yet if the time is there and I’m offered a chance to do something different or not normally to my liking, my goal for 2020 is to say yes and see where the current takes me. 

Because the only thing I have to lose, is everything… 

-Q-FI 

P.S.  Have you tried something new lately or out of the norm?  Please elaborate in the comments below…