Sometimes We Lose Sight of the Bigger Picture

I did it.  I am guilty. 

You hear those stories of people who get obsessed with FI… they cross that line into the maniacal and lose sight of the bigger picture. 

Yep, those sappy suckers… and you feel sorry for them… man, they just couldn’t keep it together.  Sucks to be them… 

I thought it would never be me.  I’ve got a level head.  I meditate and am pretty damn good at keeping things in perspective.  I’ve beat addiction and death before.  I manage hundreds of millions of dollars in acquisitions and have my fancy pants job.  I know what the fuck is up from down. 

But I failed. 

It got me.  Slowly and almost surgically, it crept up on me, until I had to be knocked back down to size. 

The sad thing is, it didn’t really hurt me at all. 

But it did hurt, the most important person to me in this entire world: my wife.  And knowing that, hurts more than anything else ever could. 

I don’t like saying it.  It tastes like sour defeat in my mouth, but it’s the truth.  I fucked up.  So what did I do in response? 

I manned up and made things right.  Because that’s what we do when we make mistakes, we hold ourselves accountable and take responsibility for our actions. 

Let me say that again, if possible… We make it right. 

You can’t change the past.  But you can change how you feel about it. 

So how do we get so off-track?  How do we slowly slip into tomorrow at the expense of today? 

Easy, that’s how.  And quickly, before we even realize it is happening. 

All it takes is one of those corporate beat-down days.  You know the kind.  Pulling all-nighters for some fucking PowerPoint presentation that’s inconsequential but some country president smuck thinks that life and death are held in the balance whether a decimal point is formatted correctly or not.  Yep, one of those days where it takes everything in your power not to go tell your boss to go fuck off – you’ve finally had enough and you’re calling your own shots now.  I quit bitch.  How do you like that? 

Then we think about FI in the distance.  We grind our teeth.  Damn, it would be great to move that FI date up.  Fuck it.  I think I actually can if I just do… 

And then you’re in the thick of it, you’re already lost but you don’t even know it.  Someone on the outside can see, but you can’t.  Because it’s become personal.  The ego has taken control. 

It’s okay to have down days.  The FI ‘pink cloud’ will wear off.  Keep your eyes on the prize, stay grounded and trust in the principles that got you this far. 

So what did I do? 

I put the cart before the horse. 

The wife and I had goals.  We had agreed on certain life milestones and direction as a team.  Because that’s what a marriage is.  You are the sum of what you each bring to it, there is no autopilot. 

I became selfish and put my freedom above the bigger picture.  I started to see the endgame before I had put in the actual work.  And in doing that, I was weighing the consequences of starting a family vs getting out of the rat race years earlier.  I started to plan on my own, make decisions that would fast forward a new life on my terms without sharing these new lofty goals with my spouse. 

And in reaching so high, I was blinded by the Sun and lost sight of what really mattered. 

But sometimes that happens.  Sometimes we get caught up in the moment.  What really matters is how we respond once we come back down to Earth and stop dancing in the stars. 

Am I alone?  Fuck no!  We’ve all been there at some point. 

Even if people don’t admit it, you can see the residue lingering on their posts, hear the hollowness in their words.  And you recognize it for what it is.  Their path is veering, but they’ll be fine.  They’ve just steered a little bit off course and they’ll find their way back to it.  We all meander and there might be a couple unexpected detours, but you don’t start on a FI journey because you’ve never been lost before. 

You know how to get back on track. 

So if you feel shame, or are wondering to yourself if you’re alone in this.  Or maybe you feel like writing your blog put too much pressure on your shoulders.  The answer is no.  You’re not alone and you’ll be just fine. 

Although I don’t think a lot of people will come clean on the surface, when they look deep down inside, they know that at some point, they took things too far.  It’s natural.  It’s part of the progression when you find yourself in the belly of the beast. 

And then you smile, and claw your way back out. 

Because remember.  It all comes back to your values, and balance will set you free. 

-Q-FI 

P.S.  You ever find yourself drifting off track or pushing things too far?  Let’s swallow our pride together, and tell me all about it below…