Oh, corporate America. You make it too easy… too, too easy.
However, I want to side bar first.
If you’re a familiar reader of my blog, then you have already read about my many frustrations with the well-oiled machine that is traditional working America. How I tend to repel the many trivialities and inconsistencies marketed under the guise of “changing the world for the better” while intermingling with communal, collaborative and pooled talent (unfortunately more likely incompetence), to feed the insatiable beast as irreplaceable human cogs in an assembly line heading straight to the grave.
I know, very overdramatic and histrionic of me.
But yes, I am hitting my middle years in stride and have become jaded. There is only so much ineptitude, inefficiency, inadequacy and uselessness that I can take. Plus, without this tasty food for fodder, I won’t be able to keep up with one of my favorite sections of this blog that keeps me sane and allows me to vent like a true pre-Madonna to her pampered entourage: corporate-isms.
Now, I can lay on the sarcasm as thick as anyone, or riposte trifles and pettiness with a single sword thrust of my wit as if life and death hung in the balance, but with that being said, and as much as I bash the revolving door of suits and ladders, I would like to acknowledge that corporate America is, and has been, one of the greatest wealth building juggernauts this world has ever seen.
Some bloggers have already pointed this out in past posts, that are much smarter and eloquent with words than me, but not better looking – hahaha. C’mon now. On a blog that no one checks the truth meter and is anonymous, why not take some liberties?
But to my point, I’ve always thought the FI obsession with side hustles is overrated. And I’m biased here. I’m of the camp if you stopped distracting yourself with people marketing side hustles to you and focused on increasing your career capital, I believe those additional gains would allow you to exit the work force much sooner and successfully than trying to do two opposite jobs at once.
But that’s just me.
I’m not saying it can’t be done. I just think there’s a lot of suckers sucking down some Kool-Aid that might as well be spiked with cyanide for all the good it’s doing them.
FI bloggers romanticize entrepreneurship like googly eyed adolescents searching for true love at a strip club. It’s all flash and show with no substance underneath (nothing against strippers here) – don’t mistaken good marketing for someone who cares about you. Well, I mean, they do care… as long as you keep paying them. Hahaha.
Anyway, that long-winded flowing delta of meandering tributary sentences was trying to stretch to a single conclusion – corporate America usually is the better solution to build wealth for most people, even though I bitch so much about it. Successful entrepreneurship, in all its glory and sparkling ideals, tends to have more in common with unicorns rather than the average Joe.
Don’t believe me?
Then go start your own side hustle and report back to me in a few years. I’ll be waiting every second with bated breath to take your next e-course or read that life design book.
Alright enough gibberish. Now that I’ve just backed corporate America with my gleaming no-money-back-guarantee-endorsement, and impaled entrepreneurship on a silver spike, I’m going to tell my hypocritical tale of how fucking stupid companies continue to be.
Hahahaha. Ahhhhhh… the beauty and indulgence of writing a blog that only makes sense to your own twisted mind.
Maybe you should start that side hustle and go run for the hills!
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So, this little gem really happened last week.
There’s been a common effect that COVID has had on both hourly and salaried workers alike at my company (giant global megacorp) – for the past year people haven’t been taking vacation.
Which, when we think about it, is a no brainer. Of course they haven’t, because where the fuck are they going to go?
Sure, there has been an increase in the outdoor recreation: trailers, campers, RVs and camping vans. But that’s not what everyone likes to do. So, for quite a few Americans they’ve just kept accruing their PTO and waiting for when that vaccine makes it safe enough to travel again.
Makes perfect sense and I can see you (most intelligent reader), nodding along with me. We’re both on the same page here.
Like every last-minute meeting in corporate America that clogs my schedule worse than stuffing an elephant down the sink drain, an all-hands-on-deck video call was suddenly scheduled.
On the call, our head of HR and USA CFO are freaking out. Since so many people haven’t taken vacation, they’re worried about the accrued liability. Without getting into a mind-numbing side story here that absolutely would be a waste of your time, basically the company is worried about the liability that is accruing on their books from a financial perspective and a PR perspective.
So, all of us middle management get a scolding and are told all our employees need to have vacation time scheduled immediately!
Okay.
I get off the call and wonder to myself, how the hell is this supposed to happen? Looking at my current situation, I have no fucking clue what this year has in store for me. No one has a fucking crystal ball or magic COVID wand to wave. I later check with the wife, and we have nothing planned. But megacorp wants me to just put random weeks in the system so it looks like people are going to be taking vacation.
Yes – idiotic, wasteful and stupid.
But so goes corporate America. If I must, I’ll oblige and schedule some random-ass shit and then cancel or change it when we know more about travel later this year and what direction the vaccines are taking.
Besides being annoying, I don’t have a big issue with this. I’ll slap on my follower hat and do what I’m told.
Then the real kicker comes.
After being ripped a new A-hole on this call from upper management, about a problem that has nothing to do with us, and in itself really isn’t a “problem,” a company email is sent out that was a true gem and essence of what it means to work for a megacorp.
In this email, instead of asking employees to help the company and reduce its vacation liability, it basically tells employees how much the company cares about them and because of this, it wants to remind them of all of the advantages of taking PTO that employees might not have thought about like decreased burnout, improved physical and mental health, improved social and familial relationships, and increased mental power. “So if you have PTO left to take, think about these reasons and request time off.”
This is the shit that really irks me. The two-faced bullshit that I just don’t have the time nor patience to put up with. Sometimes I really wonder what the fuck upper management is thinking.
Now, if our previous meeting would have gone something to the tune of – hey guys, we’ve noticed many people aren’t taking vacation. We understand this is a scary time, people are isolated, they’re struggling. Please urge your employees to take some PTO to disconnect even if they are only staying at home – then the email wouldn’t have bothered me.
But that’s not what happened, and everybody knows what is going on – megacorp is worried about money, and not its workers’ mental health. So why do corporations lie so blatantly and treat people like fucking morons? How stupid do they think their employees are?
Unfortunately, I guess really fucking stupid.
Oh well.
Anyway, it had been a little while since megacorp had done something so idiotic as to make me start scratching that FI itch again. Don’t get me wrong, hanging up my corporate boots is always on my mind, but when something this blatant happens, it gets me fired up and skimming over those numbers again like a mafia bookkeeper. Hahaha.
No… no… no. No rash decisions are ever made.
But it’s always good to have a little reminder of why you’re pursuing what you are. I can’t wait for the day when idiotic corporate emails are merely a thing of the past and no longer clog my inbox.
Every once in a while, we need to peek out from the living world into deeper awareness, and make sure that life hasn’t pulled the wool over our eyes.
Last week, was one of those days.
There’s always something out there waiting for us.
…and all it takes is the slightest shift in consciousness – to be aware.
-Q-FI
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Let’s hear some of your good ol’ megacorp mind-numbing stories. I know you all have plenty of those, “did my company really just do that,” tales to tantalize me with.
Mr. Fate says
As you know this is right up my alley as a former VP, HR for a public MegaCorp. Oddly, I began to think late last year about how much PTO liability was accruing out there in corporate America since no one was/could go anywhere. It was a quick jump to turn ponder how that was mucking up the financials of my precious investments and, possibly, surprising my EPS. Clearly, your HR VP and CFO were already seeing the same thing.
I won’t lie, I’ve been that dude on the call with my CFO letting folks know we highly paid execs are gumming the works by not taking time off. To my credit, it never did any disingenuous crap like your MegaCorp did. I finally did away with the entire problem by instituting “unlimited PTO” where management were at their discretion to take as little/much as they liked (still reported for tracking) but off the financials. Honestly, with thousands eligible, there was only 1 case of abuse in 3 years.
Anyway, now with the new place, there’s definitely a solid reason to take some time off. Or at least a longer trip to Big Bear!
P.S. This happens to be a complimentary piece to my next article!
Q-FI says
Hahahaha… that’s hilarious the accrual was exactly what you were thinking about. And I have no problem with the heads up or them bringing it up. Like you, I get the liability and you need to nudge people to take that PTO. But it was the poor taste in how they did and being absolutely tone death. They were literally you all have to do this because of the numbers then sound out this Kumbaya email of how much they value their employees. Just really bad judgment in a time in which a lot of people are anxious and nervous about the state of the world.
Looking forward to your next piece and I appreciate that insight. It’s always good to hear from the other side’s point of view.
FI for the People says
I think employers shoot themselves in the foot with the sort of disingenuous approach you described. On the one hand, they might get their desired short-term result, whatever it might be in the given situation. On the other hand, they erode (the degree of) any loyalty that employees might have for the organization. That likely means losing good people (costly), having to hire and train new people (time-consuming and costly), and maybe having the reasons for that lack of loyalty attached to the brand in the marketplace (possibly very, very costly). Better, I think, to treat employees like adults and be transparent. Maybe you get some angry employees that way, too. But they can’t say the company lied to, or misled, them. And I’m with you in that the FI is a great FU to have in the back pocket.
Q-FI says
I couldn’t agree more with you FFTP. A little authenticity and transparency goes a long way. Being shortsighted and disingenuous will only lead to people leaving and costing the company more. I’ve been at companies that have high turnover and are blaming the market that it is too tough to keep employees. They refuse to look in the mirror and realize that high turnover means something is very wrong at the current company. There is a reason why lots of employees continue to leave that company culture frequently. A blatant systemic failure that no one wants to address. It’s sad to see, but so goes some of these megacorps.
Katie Camel says
Wow. They have a point regarding mental health, etc., but I agree it’s disingenuous. It amazes me that people aren’t taking time off, even a day here or there, for mental health. Even quick getaways are great! So I sort of fail to understand why people won’t even do a staycation or a short road trip. Then again, where I live, I have countless patients telling me that either working from their vacation homes or they’ve fled the city to a beach or mountain rental. Guess that explains a lot.
Anyway, I agree that many within the FI community would do well to focus on earning more within their jobs, but not everyone has a job with a lot of growth potential, especially during the pandemic. My brother is an entrepreneur and it’s hard!!! I couldn’t do what he does, but it’s his answer.
Just keep reaching for FI. I have a feeling that once you’re there, this garbage will bother you a bit less. 😉
Hope the house is coming along well!!
Q-FI says
Hey Katie. What I tend to see, is some people like you and me, are good at doing some staycations or local getaways. Then others seem to only want to do, or only know how to do, a big two week getaway somewhere far away. So I think it’s a combo of those people and then people working from home that have more time and balance so they want to keep banking that PTO.
I don’t know exactly what it is, but I’ve seen a lot of people in my social circle waiting. Plus, the work from anywhere also gives remote people more flexibility to take mini vacations while still working.
You’re right that some people don’t have a lot of growth potential and entrepreneurship is hard. I was being overly sarcastic, but the main point is if you work for a large corporation (which is a privileged position – I kind of just assume that with my audience), you usually get good health benefits, access to a 401K, and relatively safe work environment. That isn’t too bad of a deal for people that crave security over going it on your own with entrepreneurship. And I personally think entrepreneurship is great, however I think the FI community isn’t always realistic about it or shares the downsides accurately.
Oh man the house. I got some good stuff coming when I can find the time to write. It’s just been really tough for me slammed at work and trying to get the house set up. But I spent a lot of time this weekend in the yard and finally getting that dialed in. Overall, though it’s been good. Also been dealing with a clogged sink today so there will be some good stories coming up. Welcome to homeownership! Hahaha.
Stay tuned and I hope you’re doing well. I’ve got your blog on my schedule this week to get all caught up on. So looking forward to reading your recent posts.
Tag says
“FI bloggers romanticize entrepreneurship like googly eyed adolescents searching for true love at a strip club.”
These are the gems that keep us coming back.
Generally speaking I agree with your take on entrepreneurship vs. the corporate grind (probably not to the extent that you do though), but a lot of my agreement is because of the rampant corporate welfare that flows from DC. A lot of what keeps out new entrepreneurs is due to the massive legal and financial hurdles that go way beyond serving the public interest.
As always, great post!
-31
Q-FI says
What’s up TAG. I kind of forgot I wrote that and then reread the sentence and thought, yeah, that is a good line. Hahahaha.
Glad you enjoyed it.
I think the post makes people think I’m against entrepreneurship, which I’m not. I just think if you want an easier safer route, corporate america probably makes sense for more people. My hats off to anyone that can do entrepreneurship and be successful.
Thanks for commenting bud.
Noel says
Hilarious. Isn’t great knowing you have a plan to pull the eject handle to escape from the corporate life at some point in the near future? It’s almost a therapy for me to know that FIRE is the plan and it gets me through the frustrating days. My current employer is pretty straight up with us, though they do swing a heavy axe. They’re a smaller company so they haven’t gone true corporate…yet. My last employer though was full of these thinly veiled two faced story lines. “Safety” in the construction is probably the biggest load of crap I have dealt with. What started as a way to cut insurance costs and keep people alive, has grown into an entire industry within an industry.
I think the side hustle thing can work for some, but to be truly successful has to almost really be an organic thing side effect of a true passion. If the goal is to use “side hustle” income as a critical factor to make retirement work, it’s really a plan to continue on working–not that that’s a bad thing. There’s a big line between retired and “FI”. People easily muddy the waters here. Someone could work 100 hours a week running their own business to keep the lights on and can rightfully call themselves “FI”. Me personally, when I FIRE, I hope to never have to worry about working to make money again. But that’s just me.
Q-FI says
Hey, what’s up Noel. Yes, having the FU fund definitely helps with frustrating days like those. And you are spot on with the safety comment. The industry I’m in is exactly the same. All we preach is safety is our number one priority, but then when it comes to spending safety CAPEX, we won’t spend any money to fix anything. It’s the typical corporate game of follow the money and you’ll see what the company really cares about. Sad, but it seems like a prevalent trend.
And I’m the same as you. When I finally step away from corporate life I want complete financial freedom.
Thanks for commenting bud!
FullTimeFinance says
Entrepreneurship and side hustles are great fits for some with the right mindset. For others they are just another time suck that will go nowhere/hurt someone’s health.
My company made everyone take a shutdown… they used similar rhetoric as yours, but we all know why. At least in our case they gave enough warning to do something with the time off and I won’t come back to a bunch of extra work when it’s over.
Q-FI says
I agree with your side hustle take.
Interesting with your company. Did they shutdown for a time and everyone had to take PTO at the same time or did they just tell people they had to take PTO or they’d lose it?
I think my company might start forcing people eventually, and I get it. I just don’t like being nagged by the financials and then being told that my mental health is their priority. That fluffy rhetoric is what gets under my skin. Just call a spade a spade.
Adam @ Brewing FIRE says
The day that I realized that HR is always looking out for the corporation, and not me, was a watershed moment for me. Individual people and some bosses may care for you, and look out for your best interests, but the company certainly does not. It also took me some years to realize that taking extended vacations (a week, say) was vital to my overall stress levels and mental health. I think I worked almost 5 years before I took a full week of PTO, just to show how dedicated I was. What a stupid move.
I’m relatively new here, but have enjoyed following your journey so far. Congrats on the house!
Q-FI says
What’s up Adam and welcome – the more the merrier on this grand journey into the FI unknown… hahaha.
That’s pretty hardcore working 5 years before taking a full week of PTO… and probably a drag on your mental health. I’m still cognizant of trying to take PTO away from deadlines, but have become much more comfortable trading advancement for flexibility and balance over the years. I was a workaholic earlier in my career, but like you, realized it’s just not worth it. Well, if the goal is more money and advancement, then obsessing over your career makes sense. However that ship has already sailed for me as it seems for you as well.
Some people figure out how to look out for themselves earlier than others in corporate America. I think I had a few watershed moments. The first was in my early twenties, recently out of college I thought if I outworked everyone then I’d advance quickly. After seeing deadbeats promoted over me, I started to realize the ridiculousness of office politics. But once I had that figured out I thought I knew what was up. I was one of those rising stars at my company and thought I was untouchable based on my performance and how I had networked with upper management. Then I had a layoff out of the blue after 10 years with the company and learned the hard way, you are always replaceable.
I’ve also seen some really sad stories over the years. People that are entirely loyal to their company, utterly believe in it, and then are chopped savagely. The GFC was a big eye opener for me as well, being a kept, young inexpensive employee and enduring many black Fridays. That was pretty wild to see at a young age.
Thanks for reading and I appreciate the comment. Once I get this house a little under control I’ll be checking out your stuff. Can’t go wrong with the word “brewing” in your name. Haha. Back in my drinking days I enjoyed doing homebrewing quite a bit.
steveark says
I agree that focusing on corporate advancement can make many people a lot more than diffusing their energy on side hustles. I watched my pay skyrocket over time working for my Fortune 200 employer. Once I made corporate officer level then the bonus and stock awards were dizzying to this country boy. I will admit I never came close to taking my full five weeks of vacation. But I never came close to burning out either. I didn’t work long hours and had zero commute in our small town. I could play tennis after work and run before work with my friends. It was a great career and I totally ignored the few silly kool-aid pushing emails like you referenced, but blessedly my company was not really into that kind of manipulation, they were not particularly nice but they were very honest. Great post!
Q-FI says
Yes – you know best how to build that corporate wealth Steveark. Coupled with your low cost of living, you did it right and killed it! Hahaha. And to be frank, that is amazing to me you didn’t work long hours and never had burnout. You’re my corporate unicorn in the upper management world that I look up to. Seriously, that is quite an achievement, because all other VPs or higher ups I’ve known or ever seen, had to make some serious life sacrifices.
And you’re correct, that if you have an appreciating stock and RSUs, the sky can be the limit sometimes once those tranches build up.
Also good for you working for an honest company. That might be a dying breed with big tech rolling over the world, but who knows. Gotta keep out hope.
freddy smidlap says
i also work for a heartless mega corp., but as an hourly employee. hey big brother – don’t pee on my back and tell me it’s raining! the day i stopped caring about any promotion and just got the money (GTM) was a real turning point. if you’re in my position then overtime is clearly the best side hustle. people on the factory floor can make 100k in our reasonably priced city and live like a king or queen if they work the OT. and…if you’re hourly you don’t spend one second of working when the meter is not running.
bunch of short strokers really do treat the rank and file like they’re stupid and right off the turnip truck.
Q-FI says
“Don’t pee on my back and tell me it’s raining!” Hahahah… I have never heard that one. I love it. Definitely going to add it to my arsenal moving forward.
I agree if you’re hourly, that overtime is the best side hustle. Pick up the shifts when you want more money and scale back when you want more time. That flexibility can lead to a very nice work life balance.
I think Katie does the same with her shifts.
I loved your ending line as well. You sum up the bullshit with a classy crass much better than I ever could.
Thanks for the wisdom Freddy.
Glincoln says
What a company, a govt (weapons of mass destruction anyone) lie to us ? I write Freddy’s GTM down most mornings on a sticky pad at my desk. I agree on both topics; although a partner in the”entertainment industry” (strip club) could be an interesting side gig). But, being in recovery and all that goes with sobriety, it could lead to some serious destruction. JL Collins referenced FU money; he though it came from Noble House a book by James Clavell. A pretty good book if you have the time.
Q-FI says
Yeah, Freddy has some gems. You can still do strip clubs sober… or the “Canadian ballet” as Freddy would say. Hahaha. For me those days are behind me, but to each their own and yeah, no need to do anything that might tempt fate.
I have not heard of that James Clavell book, I’ll add it to my list. Thanks for the recommendation.