See what I did there with the title? Fucking epic, right?
Who would have ever thought of something so crafty and shrewd? Wait, what? You’re saying me? Q-FI, FI-sorcerer extraordinaire? Oh no, I cannot take credit for that and your accolades. I’m just a humble little FI aficionado trying to carve my niche in the world. Hahaha. I can’t believe I’m actually posting this shit, but hey, here’s to having fun!!!
Alright, enough joshing around and back to my planned diatribe…
There will come a time along your FIRE journey when you will hit a wall. It is inevitable. Just like how burnout takes place at your full-time job, it also happens with anything that you push to the extreme. And let’s not kid ourselves, most FIRE aspirants are very comfortable with pushing things to the extreme.
However, FI burnout is probably more common than you might think and there are a lot of blog posts that describe what I like to call the “insanity” of FI. And they do a much better job of explaining all these obsessive peculiarities such as competitive frugality, passive aggressive purchase shaming, life hacking, the pressures of spartan living, exclusion/inclusion of self-promoted subcategories of FI, etc. etc. etc.
BUT… and I love to throw out these gigantic BUTs in my writing, with the title of the post being “Keeping up with the FIers,” you probably thought this is the normal FI path that I’ll be going down. But (yes, I’ve used that word way too much in this paragraph) it’s not.
There’s another aspect to “Keeping Up with the FIers” that I don’t think many bloggers touch upon as often, and that is the conundrum of explaining why you are doing something (like making an expensive purchase) and then saying that you don’t care about it. You are just following your values.
Today though, you are lucky and in exclusive company. I, Q-FI, FIRE-sage and immortal holder of all retirement truths, am going to tackle this phenomenon for you: the common blog post quandary of explaining why you are doing something while at the same time saying you don’t care about it.
There is nothing more “Keeping Up with the FIers” in my book, than that.
So, here’s my point, and I’m fine if people disagree with me here, but I see this shit all the time and it drives me nuts. You have a blogger that writes an entire post explaining why they do something contrary to FI standards, and then end with, but I don’t care about what other people think and I live by my own values.
Alright, good for you. However, my problem with this logic, is that by writing a post and explaining what you are doing, you are doing the opposite of what you are saying. Writing the post in the first place proves how much you do care about explaining your opinion and what your readers think about you. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be writing the post in the first place, because like you claim, you don’t care what people think and live your life according to your own values.
What a mother fuckin’ mind blowin’ brain teaser!
And I have no issue with people doing whatever they want, yet I see this conundrum so often that it finally annoyed me enough to waste an entire post on it… hahaha. Oh, how lucky for you! (devilish wink).
For instance, why am I writing this post? I can say, hey, I don’t care what other people think and I’m just writing this tidbit about people who do one thing and then say another. Which would be an outright lie. Because the whole reason I’m writing about this topic, is because I do care, and it bothers me. If that wasn’t the case, then I wouldn’t be writing about it at all.
Cool. Right, simple enough logic to follow.
Let me give you a clear example just in case you’re starting to think I am losing my mind… hahaha.
Popular FIRE blogger (PFB) says I live by my own values and do contrary things to the FIRE movement like eating out at an expensive restaurant. The FIRE community can’t believe this is happening and blasts PFB in their comments sections. PFB responds: “hey, whatever, I don’t give a shit, go fuck yourselves. I get great value out of an expensive dinner and don’t care what anyone thinks.”
Righto, we’re all good up until this point. I’m cheering PFB on and agree with them! More power to you and shove it up the FIRE crusader’s asses. You do your thing!
However, then PFB does the classic misstep of writing an entire blog post about why they value that expensive dinner and why they are allowed to spend money on it. Here’s where you lose me every time. If you don’t care what people think, then you don’t write that post, yet I see these written all the time. And don’t get me wrong, PFB has every right to do this. All I’m saying is it just doesn’t make sense to me. If you really don’t give a shit what people think, then your actions would reflect this. If you’re not comfortable in your values and how you live your life and care what people think about you, then you write that post to your readers explaining why it is you did what you did.
Capeesh? And yes, that was one fucking long winded detour of zig-zagging-bitchiness to find my way back to the main question at hand.
So why do a lot of bloggers do this?
I think the answer is rather obvious and apparent: They feel the pressure to conform. They might think they are immune to FI peer pressure, but in reality, they are playing the game of “Keeping Up with the FIers” just like everyone else.
Anway, please do whatever you want and don’t feel the need to explain it. Live by your values and simply do it. You don’t need to worry about what other people think and write an entire post about why you are doing what you are doing and how much you don’t care about anything else.
Don’t be like me and go on a mindless tangent that many FI people most likely just wasted their time reading. Hahahaha.
Just live it.
And of course, I know this much easier said than done.
So, here’s your checkpoint. Do you feel pressure to explain every purchase that you make? If you do, then you might be slipping into a cat and mouse game of “Keeping Up with the FIers.” And I hate to break it to you, but it’s probably not worth it. Life is too short to worry about all these little categories and trivial nuances. You need to do you! Ha!
Break free of the chains my friend!
-Q-FI
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P.S. Have you ever found yourself playing a game of “Keeping Up with the FIers?”
i’m very fond of saying i bought a VW diesel-gate automobile because i don’t care about the environment and spend half our household money on wine every year. sometimes lunch costs a few hundred bucks for 4 people if you do it right. it’s a little odd but we don’t spend on much but a few items cost a lot and that is anathema to some of the FI’ers. f’em if they don’t like it.
if they don’t want to learn to invest better then they can read more sensitive emotional content.
Hahahaha… your shit cracks me up.
All I can really say, is I concur Freddy… well played.
I’ve also found this “I’m doing something antithetical to what I publicly espouse, but let me explain why” thing to be simultaneously hypocritical and idiotic. My first reaction is why even announce that you’ve done it since no one would really know anyway. But, it all tracks back to the pressure to conform like you astutely point out.
The reality is that once you align yourself with dogma or a certain set of beliefs/behaviors and especially if you run around telling others what they ought to do, you immediacy paint yourself into a proverbial corner as you are now on the hook for walking your own talk. Of course, once you behave or act in a way that’s contrary, you look like (and, indeed, are) a low integrity, asshole hypocrite, even with a feeble ‘explanation’.
This is just another form of Fire Fraudism.
Hahahaha… you are always well spoken and thought out Mr. Fate compared to my rambling gibberish. Love seeing what you have to say and getting your fired up insight.
Yep, public pressure and getting locked into one single mode of thinking is a trip. It’s interesting to watch these things play out, though they can get a little trite at times.
I’ve written on a similar topic, though I do think to a certain extent there’s a purpose in explaining why you’re doing something that flies in the face of “FI rules.” There’s this unspoken pressure to adhere to these “rules” to reach FI, like never going out to eat or only enjoying a frugal meal out, but maybe you do value splurging on the occasional big, expensive, fancy meal out once in awhile, and you want others who might be brainwashed by all these alleged rules to know it’s okay to enjoy these things once in awhile too. Of course, if you blow $200 on dinner every weekend and you make $50k per year, that will definitely hurt your path to FI. But I still think it’s okay to show people there’s more than one way to FI and you can enjoy things you love along the way. Otherwise, what’s the point? That said, I do see some people apologizing for their failure to adhere to certain “rules.” No need to apologize for things you enjoy! You gotta live life, even if it means taking a little longer to reach FI.
Good insight Katie and you’re right. This was more gibberish about what I hear on podcasts – said person goes into a lecture on how much they don’t care what anyone thinks, then writes a super long post trying to explain and justify their values. But in the cases you point out, of course, it’s great for other people to see there are a ton of different ways to achieve FI. Live it on your terms, find a good FI blog/person you like, and jump on the band wagon and have some fun along the way.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. Much appreciated!
This reminds me of a quote by Walt Whitman: “Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes.”
That’s a great quote. Love it. Nothing like a walking and talking contradiction… =)
Thanks for sharing.