Is There Room for Pets in the FI Universe?

Why is it that the broken have an uncanny ability to find each other and make us whole once again? 

(Not how you thought I was going to start based on the title, was it?  But I’ll circle back to this in the end.) 

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Disclaimer – this will be a pet lovefest (and the most pictures I ever put in a single post).  If you don’t like diving headfirst into a bubble bath brimming with gushy feelings and then rolling around on a mattress made from live cuddly Pandas and Kahala bears while knocking back a sugar-rimmed Glamour Gal cocktail with a pink sparkly umbrella in it, this post might not be for you… 

Okay.  You have been forewarned. 

The topic for today has been a long time coming and sitting in my queue just waiting to be written for almost a year now.  I think I put it off for so long because I never thought I could really do it justice.  But it’s been bottled up for what feels like an eternity, so it’s finally time to give it my best shot. 

Here’s to you little ones, an ode to the furry companions that often get overlooked as the cornerstones that help shape us into who we truly are… 

Is there room for pets in the FI universe? 

My answer: unequivocally and absolutely yes! 

I own two dogs: a 2-year-old Terrier (Max) who has more energy than a stick of dynamite and a yappy 12-year-old Chihuahua/Beagle Mix (Pebbles). 

Let me rephrase that above sentence, I proudly own two SMALL dogs.  And I’ll get back to this point shortly. 

Just the other day I took Pebbles to the vet for her biannual checkup.  I think the total tally was $1,500.  Between the teeth cleaning, anesthesia, extractions (she’s running out of teeth faster than a fucking Cheetah grocery shopping in a hospital nursery with its tail on fire), medication and checkup, it wasn’t pretty.  And I can see people balking as they read this (do you know what that amount is compounded for 30 years at an avg market return Q-FI?  Yes, I do.  And I don’t give a fuck), but that’s what unconditional love costs sometimes – it has no bounds. 

And let me be clear here, we didn’t have Pebbles for the so-called good years when she was cheap.  We adopted her at 8 years old because if we didn’t then she was going to the pound.  So, we accepted this new life into our hands knowing it was going to be expensive. 

And really, that’s the story that I’m about to tell.  Why a single life form, can transcend the narrow-minded comprehension of costs. 

But first, let’s address the pundits. 

People who think they can equivocate pets to a FI expense, are really saying that they know how to value life itself. 

That’s a pretty bold statement.  But I stand by it resolutely.  If all you see is a dollar sign instead of the miraculous gift of the spark of life – that’s exactly what you’re doing.  You’re telling me, hey Q-FI, I am omniscient and know how to weigh the scales of judgment between life and death. 

Now we’re getting into god-complex territory… gotta wade very delicately here.  Well… not really, cause it’s my blog and I don’t give a shit (talk about a god-complex!).  Haha. 

But even the almighty and infallible MMM has chimed in on how you should analyze pet ownership.  He goes to great length to convince you in this article that pet ownership is optional.  However, when I read it, all I hear are all the reasons why he justifies to himself he doesn’t have a dog and clearly insinuates why you shouldn’t too (sidenote – I like MMM and ain’t bashing him, just disagreeing; not having a pet is entirely his right – or is it?  Muwahaha!  It’s an old 2015 article, so maybe he has different views today).  But that’s just my interpretation and opinion, read it for yourself and you decide. 

However, MMM’s critical assessment of pets (which is pretty funny BTW), seems to be a more common than not accepted belief within the FI community.  That’s too bad.  Because I couldn’t disagree more, and this is my story of why and how I became a believer… 

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I never liked small dogs.  They just weren’t my thing.  And the main reason for that being, I never had any experience with them.  I had all those preconceived stereotypes that they were yappy, worthless, pampered, only for women to take around in purses, etc. etc. etc. 

Basically, I was flexing my judgment muscles like an ignorant prick. 

My prior beliefs were, if you were going to own a dog, it had to be a large dog.  That’s what I grew up with, big dogs that could run and you could do stuff with.  Just to give you an example, the last dog I had was a Siberian Huskie/Golden Retriever mix.  He was a wild, blue-eyed blonde that had more energy than a nuclear reactor and the shrewd guile of a past explorer.  He didn’t like being confined by a yard and wasn’t coy in developing elaborate escape attempts. 

So that’s what I was used to. 

But when I married my wife, I inherited a 4-pound teacup Yorkie.  To say that this was a dog type and size, I wasn’t used to, was an understatement.  And there definitely was a feeling out period for both of us, because this little guy was like a child to my wife.  To say we had a love/hate relationship, is pretty accurate.  Some days it was good, and some days I wanted to get rid of that little fur ball. 

However, as this little guy was aging, my wife wanted to get a companion for him, but the timing was never right, and we couldn’t decide what to do. 

Then in mid 2017, an opportunity arose. 

One of my wife’s coworkers had a parent up in Sonoma that runs a dog sitting business.  She had been watching a family’s three dogs for 8 years now and this family for some unknown reason decided they had to downsize and get rid of only one dog.  How you decide after 8 years that one dog has to go, I have no fucking idea.  To me that’s like saying “well, we had too many kids, little Johnny drew the short straw so time to send him off to adoption.”  I mean, what kind of pet owner does that? 

For some background, my wife has a big heart.  It’s like ten times the size of mine, literally.  I like to think I’m a good guy, but she puts me to shame in the caring department.  If it weren’t for me putting down my foot, we’d have 10 rescue dogs right now.  Hahaha. 

And my wife’s coworker knew this, so she tells her, if you don’t adopt this dog she’ll be going to the pound.  Well, you know what happened to your boy Q-FI here. 

My wife came home in blizzard of excitement telling me how we must do this, and the timing is perfect. 

Side note – at this time in my life, I have no job and am only six months clean/sober.  I’m trying to save and manage our expenses, as well as battle debilitating anxiety and depression.  Big hospital bills are coming due, and I don’t know when my luck will turn and I’ll see another paycheck.  I tell her flat out; this is a terrible decision both timing wise and financially for us.  But if she must have this dog, then we’ll find a way to make it work.  But I sure as fuck won’t be happy about it. 

And as usually happens in our marriage, my wife won.  Happy wife, happy life. 

At first, I thought we were fucked.  There’s a reason why these people have three dogs, and this is the one they are giving up.  Something’s fishy here. 

Then we meet Pebbles for the first time. 

After she is dropped off, you can just tell that she’s scared out of her mind.  She sat alone in our living room the entire first night and cried, refusing any kind of comfort.  But after a few days and long nights, she settled in and I fell head over heels in love with her. 

Like me, she was broken and in a transition period of her life.  Her family had just abandoned her and put her up for adoption.  She was also in a car accident when she was young, so her front legs are crooked and don’t work very well – the prior owner never had surgery to fix her.  She can maybe walk/hobble a block and that’s about it.  We’d later take her to the vet and learn on top of everything she had a torn ACL in one of her back legs.  We didn’t even know because she had acted entirely normal.  The vet simply said it was absolutely remarkable how high her pain tolerance was – she had just adapted to her situation. 

That’s when I really fell for her.  That’s when I knew that she was meant to be in my life at this time.  She was a survivor, and she was teaching me every day how to be a better person just as much as I was taking care of her.  In one of the most trying years of my life, I had found a companion.  A small animal that against the odds, helped me heal and taught me how to love myself all over again. 

It’s weird to type this, but I don’t think I’ve ever loved something as much as her barring my wife and family.  And to people who don’t own pets, that might sound like a bizarre thing to say.  But let me drop some wisdom on the non-animal lovers. 

How many times as a pet owner have you heard, “Oh, it’s just a dog/cat, it’s not a person.  I don’t know why they are so upset over losing it?” 

A million times, right?  Because people who don’t own pets, don’t get it.  I’ll say that again, they don’t even have a clue. 

When you break it down, losing a pet can actually be more traumatic than enduring a person’s death for the following reasons: 

1. This pet gives you unconditional love.  Every time you step through that door, they shower you with a child’s unbridled excitement, cheerful ebullience and boundless adoration.  It doesn’t matter what you do in your life, they will always love you unabashedly, exuberantly and unconditionally. 

2. The loss of a pet disrupts habit/routine.  With our dogs, I spend more time with them than even my wife working from home now.  They are fed in the morning and at night, taken for walks, let out for bathroom breaks, I have a routine with them (or better said they have me trained very well).  Once they are gone, I lose these daily interactions that I am used to, and it can be devastating. 

3. You have a life form that is entirely dependent on you.  This leads to attachment, dependence, companionship, security and comfort.  Since my wife and I don’t currently have children, our dogs have become our children.  They give us the ability to love and nurture in a way that only another life form can provide. 

There’s also another common misconception with pets that bothers me. 

When we lose a pet, we often try to downplay it and feel guilty for caring so much.  But we should feel tremendous loss.  It is natural.  We have lost an irreplaceable personality in our lives that has given us so much joy and happiness. 

I was on a work call the other day with a higher up than me, and we were doing the normal superficial how you doing chit-chat at the beginning of the call when he told me his dog had just passed and he suddenly burst into tears.  When he finally got a hold of himself, he started apologizing profusely and I stopped him right there and cut him off.  I told him losing a pet can often be harder than losing a person in your life for all the reasons I mentioned above and elaborated on all my own losses over the years and how much I was dependent on my own two dogs for companionship. 

I think it helped him to have another guy tell him it’s okay to hurt and struggle with the emotions he was experiencing.  He was going through a traumatic, painful and extremely difficult loss.  He shouldn’t feel bad about it. 

I know some people will disagree with me.  They’ll hold to their guns and unassailable beliefs that pets are pets and they should stay that way.  I’m being stupid for caring so much. 

But when I rephrase the question is $2K-$3K a year worth spending on a pet, to is $2K-$3K a year worth spending to save my own life? 

You sure as fuck know what my answer is going to be. 

-Q-FI 

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P.S.  Do you have any pets?  Where do you stand on is there room for pets in the FI Universe debate?  If you think pets are a waste of money, I’d love to hear your reasoning and counter arguments below.