So the journey begins…
Where am I right now? It’s 8:37 PM on Friday night. I’m sitting on my couch with my legs up on the coffee table, writing on this computer. Why? Because it feels right… and I have to begin somewhere.
The dogs are fighting again Max (a one-year old puppy) keeps attacking Pebbles (our 10-year old Beagle/Chihuahua). I yell at them to cool it – and by yelling, I mean a lazy gruff grunt – but of course they don’t listen… children.
My wife is at her parent’s house so I’m alone. It’s rare that on a Friday night I’m without her – not that I’d be really going out anyway, I’m old in my bones now at 37 (I’ll probably get some snide remarks on that one) – so our already small house feels a little bit smaller than usual, a slight emptiness lingering in the warm Southern California air. Max adores her and I can tell he’s on edge, already missing her since she won’t return until Saturday night.
There I go again, my thoughts drifting. I wish I could focus but my mind is racing. I work in corporate America and it’s impossible not to take work home with you. It’s a roller coaster of emotions from day to day, week to week, quarter-end to year-end. The stress is suffocating at times. Avalanches of deadlines and presentations cascade down upon you, which you know in the long run just don’t matter. But in the present, it feels like the weight of the world on your shoulders. Just breathe you tell yourself. Just get through this day, week, month, year, when will it end? At age 65? I hope not. And this is not a harp on those that work their entire lives, there’s nothing wrong with that, but it doesn’t pencil out for me in my equation of what I feel life should be.
It would be great to be able to flip a switch and turn your mind off, cipher off the sectors that don’t matter and be present. But no, we’re human… we aren’t wired that way. The “hamster wheel” they call it. And it’s true. When it all comes down to it, I’m just nothing more than a cog in the consumption machine. But I understand that with eyes wide open, and it’s okay.
I’m not one of those that hates my job, but the time and effort involved is not where my underlying purpose lies. I think I’ve always known that. I try to play the game by the rules, but it just never fits. I always find myself thinking… If I just tweak things somehow… I know there’s another way.
And that’s why I’m here, reflecting on what it feels like to begin FI. It’s finally time to find the way out – craft a plan and see what lies ahead when life is lived on your own terms. I’ve only recently found the FI community – diving into the books, blogs and podcasts – and I’m only on the tip of the iceberg but I have a voracious appetite for all of this stuff. I understand what they mean when they say I’ve found my tribe. There are others out there… others who pay close attention to the details, track and optimize life hacks with an almost obsessive glee. It’s an addicting game. I know, and I can’t wait to get started.
I like stories. How they eb and flow, how you can swiftly be swept away in their current and drift subconsciously – discovering another vantage point. I think that’s what my hope is… that this will be a story. Each post a small chapter in the reflections of a FI journey beginning, sharing my mistakes and outcomes as they materialize. Maybe someone will read this… maybe no one. It really doesn’t matter to me at this point. I’m just excited to write… ramble… and maybe find a new community along the way.
If you want the details and numbers of how to start with FI, where to go and how to get there, that’s not me, at least not for now. But there are numerous amazing experts and personalities out there that can share that experience and knowledge way better than I can.
They have walked the walk. They are living the goal – playing out the endgame on the boards of their choosing.
I’m not there. I’m not FI… yet. I can’t speak to that.
But I’ve had a taste of what the possibilities can be.
I’m currently reading “Your Money or Your Life,” by Vicki Robins, and I think she says it best, “If you hear a dream or goal you like from someone else, steal it! Together we can build compelling visions for a really good life.”
I like that… “together we can build.” It has a nice ring to it. Open-ended and inviting.
So if you’re just beginning on this path to FI like me, slowly learning, reflecting and piecing together what the next steps might be.
I invite you to come along.
And together… let’s see what we can build.
-Q-FI
Ko says
Looking forward to this journey too!