“The stress is killing me,” she said. Her hands were flailing in the air as if to emphasize the dire nature of her words – wine spilling from her glass, eyes bulging.
Silently I nodded in agreement before finally chiming in. “Yeah it is a killer… It can knock you dead on the spot.”
There is something wrong with how the majority of people structure their lives.
If you are in the FI community, then you already know this. It’s why you are here. We all share the bond that something didn’t feel quite right about how our days had been shaping up. There was this elusive feeling tugging at the back of our minds, prodding us to delve a little deeper into our inner being. Could we look at our current lives, the hard-worked paths that we had forged through grit and determination, and call that a life worth living?
Sure. In some ways yes, and in some ways no.
But our arrival at this destination was a watershed moment. It made our present situation clear: we were at a crossroads.
How many people can say that they are truly happy?
I chose to detail the adventures of C1 and C2 in my previous posts, because they were the exceptions to the majority of my conversations with my extended family at the Vermont wedding. The more I chatted, there was an alarming theme developing that didn’t surprise me: almost everyone shared in one form or another how they were struggling to find happiness in their lives and work situations.
Of course, this wasn’t flat out stated to me. Everyone wants to put their best foot forward and not sound like a Debbie downer, we’re at a wedding for crying out loud. It’s time to celebrate and let the good times roll! But once the alcohol starts making its rounds, the tongues get a little looser and the truth tends to bubble to the surface. And since I’m sober, it only took a little bit of listening to read between the lines.
Stress and anxiety don’t discriminate.
There are all shapes of life in my family, high earners vs low earners, corporate vs entrepreneurs, freelance vs traditional, etc. But regardless of your chosen profession, no one is immune to stress and anxiety. Our world has transformed in the digital age from an 8 to 5 workday to now being connected 24/7 through smart phones and the internet. Even traditional office hours for onsite only jobs have not been immune to this trend.
For example, my wife is a dental assistant. On the surface someone might assume that her work stays at the office and she can come home and just relax. Sure, her patients do not come home with her, but in this day of social media – Instagram posts and Facebook drama – or after-hours management calls and online training protocols, no profession is left untouched by our society’s constant pressure to do more with less.
We are never unplugged anymore.
Why do we accept a lifestyle that is slowly killing us?
I feel that most of us have become anesthetized to “the busy”. We have accepted this as our fate. We work harder to buy more, consume more, weighing ourselves daily on the scale of comparison. We always need just a little bit extra, yet there is no end in sight. The majority of Americans can’t even look to age 65 as an end game since they have never saved for retirement. Materialism has become our drug and we’re addicted.
The tolls this has taken on our bodies has never been clearer. The stress is killing us. Literally.
Using myself as an example. Work related stress has caused me to be treated for anxiety, depression, high blood pressure, sleep deprivation and addiction. When I am at my best, I am an extremely active guy, but some days I’m so beaten down by 16+ hour days, there’s nothing left in the tank to pursue any kind of physical exertion. And that’s saying something since I’m only a white-collar corporate desk jockey.
There are other alternatives out there. We just need the courage to reach for them.
It became clear to me when catching up with people at the wedding, that although no one would admit it, people seemed to envy the situations of my cousins. They wanted what C1 and C2 had found – a way out. A life focused on enjoying the journey and building in the present. Now living – an answer to counteract a consumption lifestyle that so many of us are struggling to make sense of.
And the main reason why we haven’t taken the next step, is fear. Fear is what drives us to stay. It can paralyze, debilitate and trap like no other emotion.
Yet, there are alternative lifestyles just waiting for us if we are willing to take the risk; reach out and open the door less stepped through.
We don’t have to be trapped.
The older I get, the more I desire a simplistic life.
I can feel it deep in my bones: I want something different. I desire more open spaces. The drag of dealing with disgruntled people, over population and traffic are draining me.
I see these people living alternative lifestyles, whether that be FI, creative lifestyle design or simply purposeful living, and they talk about happiness. They don’t talk about stress. Sure, there are good days and bad days. But there is something that just feels different when I’m with them and taking part in their method of living.
The doubters will mock me and that’s fine, but the best way to describe it is… it is just one of those things that when you see it, you know it.
You feel that it’s right.
I know how my current road ends. I’ve seen it played out every day in corporate prisons across the globe. I’ve felt how the burden of pursuing more can crush the soul right out of you. And I don’t want that anymore. I can’t look myself in the mirror and play that make-believe game. There’s too much out there to experience.
And time is ticking…
So I’ve begun to build, using FI as my bridge. Utilizing this tool to construct a way to get to the other side where passion fuels my progress. And if I find an alternative tool, an alternative door, or an alternative lifestyle along the way, then nothing will really change.
Because I’ll keep on chipping away.
-Q-FI
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