A Post from the Privileged

I expect some controversy here, and rightly so.  This will be a touchy subject for many, but I don’t shy away from uncomfortable conversations and I don’t expect cooler heads to prevail when discussing sensitive content. 

Adults really are nothing more than children masquerading as mature.  Touché. 

However, do your best to be respectful (hahaha… a disclaimer to my entire 20 readers!) 

This is a post from the privileged… 

I, Q-FI, am privileged.  I am male.  I am white.  I come from a middle-class upbringing.  I am educated.  And I have never had to question where my next meal might come from. 

Does this make me any better than anyone else?  No.  Does this give me a head start in life?  That depends on what’s the end goal… 

Your advantage is determined by what the world projects is the most coveted objective. 

Privilege seems to be a hot topic in FI.  There is no doubt that it is an advantage in the traditional sense, but I also think people make more of it than they need to.  For me, it’s not so much about privilege, but more about what you do with it and what society chooses to acknowledge.  What society views as important, successful and desirable, is what defines privilege on the surface. 

Right now, that’s money, wealth and power. 

These are the measuring sticks that at first glance the world will judge you by.  But it’s been well documented, that achieving these things doesn’t make you any happier.  They don’t lead to a more fulfilling life.  So, if this is true, is privilege really the advantage that everyone makes it out to be? 

Maybe.  Maybe not.  It depends on your vantage point, right? 

Another thing I’ve seen a lot of is that the FI community is obsessed with what I call the “privilege advantage”: 

Are you really FI?  Are you telling the truth?  Did you cheat?  Did you have an inheritance, windfall, trust, lotto winnings, drug cartel timeshare, cash dropped from a plane in your backyard, etc. 

It’s all fluff that doesn’t matter one bit.  Yet people debate it online as if it were life and death.  Your starting point doesn’t matter.  What matters is where you are in the present.  What you are working towards as your future. 

If you are pursuing FI, then you are pursuing a goal.  You define what that means.  You define how you travel that journey.  Make it fast or make it long.  Who gives a fuck?  Why all the definitions?  Why all the judgments? 

Block out the white noise and focus on what’s important to you.  No one can take your values from you but yourself. 

If someone has risen from poverty and built wealth, are they now privileged? 

I’ll be honest, with all the hype, all the categories, all the definitions and political ideologies.  I’m not sure I can define what privilege actually is?  It seems to change daily to whatever the latest pundit wants it to be: a punchline phrase used as a catch-all, end-all. 

So where do we draw the line?  When does someone actually become privileged?  Does it even matter?  Do we really care? 

Is there any true equality?  Everyone is born with different genetics, different smarts, different abilities.  Is that going back too far?  Should we only focus on one’s environment, connections and pedigree? 

Or are we looking in all the wrong places, asking all the wrong questions and seeking all the wrong answers? 

I think the point is if you have someone who came from privilege and has $1M and someone who came from poverty and has $1M, what’s the real difference in the present?  If you want to focus on the historical differences of the past, then that’s on you.  You won’t be able to see the positive similarities that can benefit the future. 

Once again, I think it’s more important to focus on what you can do with what you have, rather than worrying about where you came from.  

We choose to see what we want to see. 

The whole reason I decided to write this post was a conversation with my brother that had me thinking about privilege.  He had mentioned awhile back the Larry Nassar tragedy when the Dr. had molested all of the gymnasts and how tragic it was.  I had fired back a pretty heated response that surprised him.  I had told him that the only reason this was on the news was because the girls were privileged. 

And saying that doesn’t downplay what happened to them one bit.  Yet when you see and hear so much worse on a daily basis in the rooms (NA, CA, AA), and it gets ignored.  You get pretty pissed off when one story hits the news about privileged girls being abused and the whole nation is in an uproar. 

This fucking shit happens everywhere, every damn day and in much worse situations.  Yet it never makes the news.  It doesn’t even solicit a whisper in the dark. 

Girls are molested younger and younger or forced to have sex just to get into sober living houses.  The rape, the abuse, the trauma is only increasing.  It’s so fucking wild.  It’ like an entirely separate world exists below the surface while everyone else goes about playing at their lives. 

And what do we do?  We turn our heads in ignorance. 

Why? 

Because when privilege is involved, people pay attention.  But when privilege is absent, and we really should be looking, we no longer want to watch. 

We choose to see what we want to see. 

Like I said before, your advantage is determined by what the world projects is the most coveted objective. 

And the world currently favors the privileged. 

So, what do I think?  It doesn’t really matter. 

I close my eyes too often.  I have become desensitized. When you trudge along the devil’s backbone then you begin to see the hidden demons in everything.  You become immune to the suffering.  You become immune to the pain. 

Because I am one of them. 

I am guilty. 

I am one of the privileged. 

-Q-FI 

P.S.  Where do you fall on the spectrum of privilege?  Are you grateful?  Thoughts?