With 2019 completed and a fresh slate offered for 2020, it’s never too late to begin again. Quietly…
It’s a new day and a new year dawning. Fresh with possibilities and opportunities for the taking! Oh 2020, what do you have in store for me???
I was reading another 2019 blog reflection and it mentioned reviewing the past decade. Where were you in 2010, and now where are you in 2020? What have the past ten years looked like?
And this kind of hit me hard as I applied it to my life.
At 28 years old I was just starting my MBA while working full-time. The sky seemed to be the limit for what I wanted to achieve over the next decade and I was full of life. Yet, it’s always kind of funny seeing how things really turn out. Well… funny… depressing… or satisfying depending on what happened and your point of view.
I finished the MBA at 31, but drugs had resurfaced in my life to deal with all of the stress, pressure and lack of sleep required to blend 60-hour work weeks and a top 15 MBA program. It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you put your mind to it, but the toll on your body and health is usually the cost.
I stayed with my company for way too long afterwards, on the surface, partly due to unkept promises of a promotion, but probably subconsciously, because I was complacent and my drug addiction was becoming harder and harder to hide. How would I be able to start a new job when I was this fucked up? As I summarized in my “2019: A Year in Review” Post, I was laid off from my job in 2016, took a year to recover from addiction in 2017, and worked my way back to respectability in 2018-2019.
And now 2020 is staring me smack dab in the face. A fresh decade, untouched and pristine, ready to be sculpted like new fallen snow.
So what does the Q-FI family want to accomplish over the next 365 days? We’ll get to that, but first, a short timeline on the Q-FI family goals history.
When developing goals, they should be simple, actionable and measurable. Accountability and progress need to be intertwined.
Prior to 2017, I don’t think my wife and I ever really laid out specific goals. There was finish the MBA, get a better job and buy a house at some point. But there were never really any concrete deliverables set with a specific timeframe, everything was vague aspirations toward a better future.
Then 2017 simplified everything. After all the work my wife and I put into ourselves, our marriage and our relationship to help me get sober, our 2017 goals were easy: survive and don’t die. Hahahaha. Obviously, I’m being sarcastic and it was more than that, but gallows humor is how you keep plugging along.
In 2018, we sat down and mapped out our goals a little more formally, again probably mostly due to all the personal work we had put in during the prior year. We check-in regularly with each other (hopefully daily) and our communication has improved ten-fold. The 2018 goals were still simple: save and spend out of pocket money on trying to get pregnant.
Since we weren’t successful conceiving a child, the 2019 goals shifted to taking a break on the pregnancy front, look into adoption, spend money on our health (get a trainer and train for Spartan Races), keep up the high savings rate and figure out if we should keep renting or purchase a house. Due to the high tax hit for divesting assets in order to free up cash for the house down payment, I decided to split the process over 2019 and 2020 (We’re talking LA house prices here).
As a result of writing this blog and how our 2019 goals progressed, the process for our 2020 Goals has been the most direct to date. We have a tradition of spending each New Year’s in Big Bear Lake, CA so that we’re up in the mountains and can hopefully get some snow to actually make it feel like winter. (I know, what a CA thing to do… actually seek out snow instead of avoiding it!). So we sat down yesterday in the crisp mountain air and reviewed 2019 with no distractions while for the first time actually writing down our 2020 goals. (I think it’s important to document what your goals are to help hold yourself accountable and have a written record to refer to. Crystalize those ambitions by putting pen to paper! This was a key mistake that we have made in the past.)
The following is what we came up with…
I broke out our template into three parts: big goals/questions, small goals and personal goals for each of us.
2020 Big Goals/Questions to be Answered:
#1 – Adoption:
After an unsuccessful 2018 with IUI treatment and no pregnancy during 2019, my wife and I have decided to pursue adoption in 2020. We wrote down actionable items and dates that things need to be accomplished by. If you have adopted a child or recommend any resources to check out in CA, please feel free to contact me and we can discuss more offline. My wife and I are going into this eyes and ears wide open, so we’ll see what 2020 has in store for us.
#2 – Housing:
Should we rent or buy? Oh, that always debated dilemma! Goal #1, adoption, will play a big part in answering this question for us. We currently rent a one-bedroom backhouse in LA at a killer deal. But I’ve heard that in order to adopt, we have to have at least two bedrooms regardless of the space. So, as a requirement for adoption, we might have to move to a larger residence in order to meet the minimum requirements. If this is the case, then we will have to determine if we are better off renting or buying for the next step.
#3 – Saving and Investing:
Keep on doing what we did in 2019 for 2020 – max out both our 401Ks, max out both our Roth IRAs and boost the post-tax brokerage account with what we have left. Keep it simple: save, invest and enjoy life to its fullest. A post on our 2019 spending will be forthcoming as well.
#4 – Downsizing Furniture/Clutter in Current Rental:
This one will be interesting. Earlier this year we went through our garage, cleaned it out and got rid of a lot of extra sports equipment and random stuff we never use. The goal for this year, is to minimize the things we have in our house (bookshelves and a couch as of now, but more will be coming). Since we think, we’ll probably be moving in the near future for the adoption requirements, we want to downsize furniture and clutter so that we either get rid of stuff we don’t need/like or make room to purchase necessary replacement furniture that we will take with us (dining room table and new bed).
2020 Small Goals:
#1 – Stay Fit, Workout, Spartan Races:
I’ll be completing more Spartan Races during 2020 with my wife. I’m currently scheduled for another Trifecta but will probably add an additional Beast later in the year as well. I’m a very competitive guy and past collegiate athlete, so I’d like to continue to improve my fitness and see how far I can take my training in 2020. 38 is the new 28, right? Ha!
#2 – Go Backpacking at Least Twice in the Summer:
Have you ever made that purchase where you buy a bunch of new stuff and never use it? Oh yeah, I know we all have and everyone can relate. So late in 2017 I bought a bunch of new camping equipment to motivate my wife and I to start backpacking more often – two new backpacks, two new sleeping bags, two new sleeping mats and a tent – yep, that cost a pretty dime. And how many times have we used it? Zero. Hence, you see why this goal has made the list. There is nothing more frustrating than spending a bunch of money on something and never using it.
#3 – Take the Dogs to the Beach:
This is such an easy one that it’s almost embarrassing to write. We live friggin’ 40 minutes from the beach and always talk about taking our dogs there to play in the sand, but we have yet to do it. Why? I honestly can’t tell you. So this bad boy made the list and we’ll officially plan our day this year to knock this nagging task out, and give those furry little hoodlums the best pampered life that they deserve!
#4 – Plan out each Christmas Experience:
My family is trying a new Christmas gift exchange this year. Instead of giving someone a present you have to plan an experience of your choice, to take the family on. There are seven of us taking part in this, so my wife and I want to try and accomplish both of ours in the first half of the year. I’ll let everyone know how this experiment turns out.
2020 Q-FI Personal Goals:
#1 – Daily Goal:
Do all of the following daily: meditate (work on my mental health), play music (make sure I’m doing something creative – drums or guitar), learn/practice Spanish (practice a new skill – I’ll be using the Babbel App) and Exercise (work on my physical health). I know I won’t be able to practice all of these every day, and the goal might be a little ambitious, but I’m going to make a sign, post it by my bed as a reminder and track how productive I am in a spreadsheet. The idea is to start momentum and see where it goes.
#2 – Marriage Improvement Goal:
Be more affectionate with my wife. I’m not the touchy-feely kind of guy, so I need to pay more attention to what my wife’s love language is and meeting her needs. This one is a hard one for me, but I know I can always be better and improve. It doesn’t matter how long you have been in a relationship/marriage; you always need to be working on it.
#3 – Work Goal:
I currently commute 73 miles round trip every day. Yep, ouch! I’m getting burned on gas and car mileage upkeep (don’t let MMM know or I’ll get a punch in the face). I’ve been able to work from home a little bit to offset this commute, but my goal for 2020 is to negotiate in my review working from home 1-2 days a week.
#4 – Blog Goal:
Keep on posting twice a week for a year and then see how I feel in September 2020 (I’m 25% of my way to this goal). I’d also like to look into maybe taking a WordPress or coding class during 2020.
#5 – Reading Goal:
Read one book a month. I used to be a voracious reader, plowing through books almost weekly, but for some reason I’ve really slowed down this past year. I think writing down this goal will help me get back on track.
2020 Wife’s Personal Goals:
#1 – Exercise:
Keep up the momentum from completing a Spartan Trifecta during 2019. Find a new consistent way to exercise since she has stopped the personal trainer.
#2 – Work Goal:
Leave work at work. Don’t take the stress and drama from her job home with her. Learn to not personalize petty disagreements and further develop her management skills.
#3 – Social Medial Reduction Goal:
Delete the Instagram app from her iPhone. Only look at Instagram on her iPad in a limited manner. Try to reduce total screen time on the iPhone.
#4 – A Shopping Ban Goal:
My wife read the book “The Year of Less” by Cait Flanders and applied a mini shopping-ban during 2019. Her goal is to expand this and create a full plan for 2020 focusing on our necessities, living with less and simplifying our life.
#5 – Reading Goal:
Read one book a month.
Well, there you have it: the big goals, small goals and personal goals for the Q-FI family’s 2020. Let’s see what unfolds over the year to come…
Happy new year everyone! Be safe and may your 2020 dreams come true!
-Q-FI and the Missus
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